Cross-dressing shoplifters pepper-spray Home Depot customers. Uh…yeah; I’m not sure I’ve got anything that could possibly improve on the headline.
Iran bans sale of Valentine’s Day gifts. Nothing like banning a Hallmark holiday when it comes to creating a nation of obedient, zealous Muslims, eh??
Oprah and Gayle Get Groped By Horny Koala Bears. Yeah, those Aussies do love their porn….
Sex Advice From Computer Hackers. There you go…sex advice from those least likely to actually have sex. Why not just talk to a priest?
Final Countdown: Keith Olbermann And MSNBC Announce They Are Parting Ways. Today, we are all a bit poorer and television is dumbed down just a little bit more. Score one for the egos of MSNBC executives.
Apple’s iPhone Explosion: Chart Shows It’s Just Getting Started. Soon, they really WILL rule the world…and I’m actually pretty OK with that idea.
Boehner: ‘Job Killing’ Health Care Bill Now ‘Job Crushing,’ ‘Job Destroying’. Propaganda by any other name is still…propaganda.
Apple: “We’re Very, Very Confident” That The iPad Has No Competition. Translation: “Everything else sucks. Why buy an imitation when you can have the real thing?” Agreed.
Michael Steele: ‘We Could Have Used A Few More Brothers In The House’. And a few less dollars spent at Lesbian-themed bondage/sex clubs….
Testicle-Exhibiting Editor Also Liked to Take His Pants Off. And we have the pictures to prove it! Oh, joy….
Steve King: Dems Driven By ‘Irrational Leftist Lust For Socialized Medicine’. Yep, that’s right; we just want to rule the world and make it safe for Socialism. I wonder if it’s time for King to have his medication adjusted??
Cops taze man with sword who won’t leave smoke-filled home. Maybe he was just trying to put out the fire?
Cockroaches found in food delivered to jail inmates. The inmates said that they were looking for a little extra texture in their mystery meat.
Man goes wild at Buffalo Wild Wings during argument over schools. The surprise is that either of these mental midgets ever set foot in a school of any sort.
Boy, 12, faces charges after allegedly showing his junk in class. Uh…he’s 12; how much could he possibly have had to show??
Man arrested after putting porn magazines on women’s cars. You know, if you’re looking for a date…well, this probably wouldn’t be the strategy I’d choose…but OK….
