When You Hire Union Plumbers, You Hire Trained Professionals Who Won’t Fuck Your Wife. So, when they tell you that they’re going to be laying pipe, you can rest assured that they’re actually going to be laying pipe.
Would You Have Hot Sex In A Port-A-Potty? Uh…no. Next question??
Positive transformation: New program brings change in culture at Carson Middle School. It’s SO much easier when students are stripped of all identity and independence, every minor infraction is noted and collected, and teachers deliberately single out any student who tries to stand out.
As If Lawnmower Races Weren’t Thrilling Enough. Any lawnmower race that ends in fisticuffs is…well…EPIC!!
Pirates seized record 1,181 hostages in 2010. So there you have it- proof positive that global warming is a Liberal hoax.
Great Horned Owl Attacks Chico the Chihuahua on Walk in Crystal Lake. Hey, it’s called a “food chain” for a reason….
Congress Honors 9/11 First Capitalizers: Recognizes Those Who Rushed To Cash In On Tragedy. Yeah, it figures Pat Robertson would be on this list….
Vatican Ordered Bishops Not To Report Sexual Abuse. Quelle surprise….
U.S. Renews Contract With Spotted Ground Squirrels Through 2015. Nothing like job security, eh?
Michael Moore: “If You’ve Got 17 Cents in the USA, You Can Take the Life of a Federal Judge”. That’s what a bullet costs. If you have a gun, all you need is 17 cents to take a life and make yourself (in)famous.
Man accused of training dog to bite woman during arguments. In other news, a man just ensured that he will never, ever get laid again.
Woman accused of shooting husband in groin during argument. I know a man with a dog; they might just be meant for one another.
Why Right-Wing Fearmongers Have Blood on Their Hands. Free speech does not mean speech without consequences.
Someone is paying more than $400 for leftover Apollo mission pot roast). Tang not included….
In New York, Public Employee Benefits Attacked — But There’s a Better Way to Fix Up State Budgets. Of course, demonizing a group clearly not responsible for the state’s financial woes IS a helluva lot easier than actually being honest and working to fix the real problem.
Building a better Nerf gun. ‘Cuz chicks dig Nerf guns.
Study: Lots of people drink alcohol at sporting events. Yep, looks like Captain Obvious is in the house again….
Major earthquake strikes southwestern Pakistan. An earthquake that measured 7.4 on the Richter scale left Pakistan looking…exactly as it did prior to the quake.
