My Rotisserie Chicken Has a Chemical Found In Brake Fluid. “My bologna has a first name….”
Fox: The Most Distrusted Name In News. Quelle surprise….
Texting Woman Who Fell Into Fountain May Sue Mall. Well, of course she is, silly. This is America; it’s a good career move.
Student Wears Same Jeans Every Day For 15 Months Without Washing Them. Wait; let me guess…he’s single?
After a While Unemployment Stops Being Funny. Gee, yeah…whodathunkit??
Billy Pollard plays “Jesus Loves Me” on the saw. Only because he couldn’t get the rights to “Highway to Hell”.
Michelle Obama Blamed For Slight Uptick In Pedestrian Deaths. Right; if those folks were still eating Doritos on their couch, they wouldn’t have been exercising and therefore wouldn’t have been run over. Ergo, Michelle Obama is at fault.
Girl gives birth to a frog! No word was available on the whereabouts or identity of the father. Speculation on the street is that he’s a horny toad.
Democratic Congressman Stands By Nazi Comparison. Remember the New Civility? Well, that didn’t last long, eh?
Public Masturbator Pleads Guilty to Gun Charge. Hey, when a girl’s got needs….
The Cost Of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’. Besides the cost in careers ruined and national security compromised, DADT had an actual (and considerable) financial cost. So what did we get for those millions of dollars? Not a damn thing.
How Creed Saved a Norwegian Boy From a Pack of Wolves . Yeah, not even wolves can stand Scott Stapp at full volume….
In hilarious found note, girl vows to spend more time tanning, do less cocaine. Hey, that was my New Year’s resolution!!
Would You Eat A Lion-Meat Taco? Uh…is it white meat or dark meat??
Why You’re an Asshole (and Why That’s Just Fine). You’re OK…as long as you can forgive others for the shortcomings and inadequacies that are part and parcel of the human condition.
White Castle Offers Test To See If She Really Loves You. If she pukes, she’s just not that into you, dude.
