Hot Lesbian Teachers Want $2 Million For Being Called Hot Lesbian Teachers. Nice work if you can get it, eh??
Obama Has No Plans To Visit Wisconsin. There you go…a golden opportunity to demonstrate that he actually cares about the working class…and he punts it. Nice leadership, eh?
Mutate or Die: spermy, bloody bioart made from preserved William S Burroughs turd. And you thought I just make this stuff up….
Quinn Budget Cuts: Drug Treatment Programs To Lose All Funding. Illinois may no longer be able or willing to pay for drug treatment programs, but they’re most certainly going to end up spending even more to incarcerate drug addicts who commit crimes.
Woman’s Life Saved Because She Orders Pizza Every Day. Ah, the magical healing powers of pepperoni….
John Ensign Refuses To Support Ending Legalized Prostitution. Well, of course; how else could the Republican Senator from Nevada count on getting laid?
Anonymous hacks Westboro Baptist Church website during live confrontation. Uh, yeah…wouldn’t it just be easier to ignore the trolls??
Apple Unveils New MacBooks: See What’s New. How convenient…and my birthday is less than two months away. (Actually, what I really want for my birthday is an Audi Q7…but I’d “settle” for a new MacBook.)
Fat Cookies shut down. So, selling cookies like a crack dealer is a bad thing??
Muammar Gaddafi’s Most Memorable Fashion Moments. Little known fact: “Muammar Gaddafi” is Latin for “walking, talking fashion faux pas“….
Emmy Rossum Explains Sex Scenes On ‘Chelsea Lately’. Uh…if you have to explain it, YER DOON IT RONG….
Christine O’Donnell Contemplates Dancing with the Stars. And you wonder why I refuse to watch DWTS??
Men with prosthetic arms making prosthetic arms. Art imitates life….
Indiana Deputy AG Fired For Suggesting Use of ‘Live Ammunition’ Against Protesters. Shoot low, boys- they’re riding Shetland ponies!! (Apologies to the late, great Lewis Grizzard).
Saudi Student In Texas Charged With Plotting Terrorist Attack. Stay turned for scenes from the next “Things To Do In Lubbock When You Wish You Were Dead”….
So Much for President Clooney. “I f—ked too many chicks and did too many drugs, and that’s the truth.” I know…I’ve had EXACTLY the same problem, which is why I’m never running for President.
