Hey, y’all!! It’s the weekend…and you know what that means, right? Just be careful out there.
….Today is National Unfollow Charlie Sheen Day. If you follow Sheen on Twitter, today’s your opportunity to correct that mistake. Make sure to use protection and plenty of antibacterial soap.
….OK, so you’re a Catholic priest, and you’ve just been busted for DUI. How are you going to beat this rap? How about by offering oral sex to the jailhouse guard?
….Guess which Supreme Court Justice is “easily aroused,” has a “strong interest in porn”. Hmm…I think we can probably rule out Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
….Aubrey Plaza to star in a movie called “The Hand Job”. Sounds like it might be a great “date flick”, eh??
….Man, college was NEVER like this in my day…free, up-close and personal demonstrations of sex toys? Apparently, being a Human Sexuality major has perks, no??
….It’s not that there isn’t a lot of premarital sex happening at Brigham Young University; it’s just that most of it is right-handed and accompanied by lots and lots of porn.
….NEA advocates for explicit sex education at UN: Because Lord knows UN diplomats need all the helping getting laid that they can get.
….Have you ever found yourself wondering how a five-hooker Nazi-themed orgy might impact freedom of the press? Well, wonder no more….
….If you’re a Ke$ha fan…and really, who isn’t??…and you go to one of her concerts, you’ll be gifted with condoms bearing her likeness. On the wrapper, that is. Creepy and over-exposed: the gifts that just keep on giving.
….Better to be thought a dick than to be Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder and remove all doubt.
….Porn star who used to date Charlie Sheen auctioning off old mementos. I wonder how much a case of gonorrhea might sell for on eBay?
….Fifteen Ineffective Pick-up Attempts. You’re going home alone again tonight, aren’t you??
….Women As Likely As Men to Want Casual Sex. Guys, if you’re going home alone, you’re not trying hard enough.
….Newt Gingrich Committed Adultery Because America Made Him Horny. Just another Republican that wants to screw America?
….If you were a porn actress once upon a time, should that disqualify you from teaching for ever and ever, Amen?
….Today’s Sign That The Apocalypse Is Upon Us: Judah Friedlander and Susan Sarandon might be hooking up. Oh, the humanity!
….It seems that Brett Favre’s dong made a guest appearance at Mardi Gras. Quelle surprise, eh??
….The survey is in…and it says that Conservative women are more boinkable than Liberal women.
….It’s been said that married couples begin to look like each other with the passage of time. Now there’s a dating site that skips the whole “marriage” and “passage of time” thing and finds you someone to date who looks like you. Frankly, this scares the Hell out of me.
….It seems the world has seen a surfeit of protesting of late: Tunisia, Egypt, Libya, Bahrain, Wisconsin…now we have the not necessarily undesirable prospect of topless Ukrainian women staging their own protests.
….What’s Your Six-Word Love Story? Adderall and Riesling: It was destiny?
….”No Sex Please; We’re British” (apologies to Alan Ayckbourn)…but we’ll happily strip for you if you’ll send some cash our way.
