GOP Lawmakers Reject Measures Reaffirming Global Warming Science. Hey, just because scientists believe it and evidence supports it….
Neocons Write Nice Letter Asking Obama for War in Libya. And when we’re done with Libya, can we please, please, PLEASE bomb Iran? Pretty please? With sprinkles on top?? And whipped cream??
Newt Gingrich Cements Ties To Religious Leaders. Isn’t religion the last refuge of a scoundrel??
Sex With 33 Girls ‘Too Much’ for Old Berlusconi. Yeah…Sylvio usually draws the line at 32. After you hit 70, the hydraulics just don’t work like they used to, knowhutimean??
Shortages force Texas to switch execution drug. It appears they’ll now be using a combination of Lone Star Beer and barbecue drippings.
Jihadi Media Outfit Rolls Out a Terrorist Lady Mag. Now your Mom can show you how to “make a bomb in the kitchen of your Mom”, eh??
Single Mothers Even More Hated Than the Gays. Isn’t part of God’s plan that mothers will subjugate their needs, dreams, and desires to men?
GOP Considering Selling TV Rights For Presidential Debates. I can see it now: “Welcome to the 2012 Vagisil GOP Presidential Debate….”
Coke found at NASA facility. Again.. EVERYTHING goes better with Coke. Right??
Disney kills “Yellow Submarine” remake. And a grateful nation breathes a collective sigh of relief.
Hugo Chavez’s War On Breast Implants. Finally, I have something in common with Hugo Chavez: we both like ‘em real.
One Third of Staten Island Is On Pain Pills. Hey, if you live on Staten Island, you can be forgiven for wanting to be high most of the time.
Panicky Americans Mutate Into Nuclear Medicine Experts. IODINE!! WHERE’S MY DAMN IODINE!!
When Not to Use the Word ‘Doozy’. After you’ve killed 4 people during a 28-hour killing spree, saying “I’ve had a doozy of a day” might be a tad inappropriate.
Plastic Found In Lean Cuisine Meatballs. Or, as we like to call it, “fiber”.
World’s largest paedophile ring’ uncovered. 70,000 members in 30 countries? And you thought membership had its privileges….
