The great thing about writing over-the-top joke exaggerations about America is that often they come true! For example, just this morning we were sarcastically criticizing Jan Brewer for failing to extend gun rights to kindergartners who need to open fire on their classmates. Then, about an hour and half after we posted that, a six-year-old kindergartner’s loaded gun fell out of his pocket in the school cafeteria and fired, injuring himself and two other children, one of them also six and the other five years old. Since this is Texas we’re talking about, where they actually RESPECT the Second Amendment, we presume a parade will be held in honor of this young patriot listening to the Constitution and doing as it says. As soon as he (and whatever kids survive) get out of the hospital.
Today is the anniversary of the Columbine massacre, so of course I’m going to tread lightly on the subject of gun violence…except where Texas is concerned, because the Lone Star State has been and continues to be a running joke when it comes to gun violence. Remember, we’re talking about a state where, not so very long ago, it was still legal to have open containers of alcohol in a motor vehicle. Yes, once upon a time, you could drink WHILE driving in Texas. Viewed in this light, the idea of a six-year-old bring guns to school seems almost appropriate. When you put all this together, it’s hard not to escape the conclusion that the Lone Star State’s governing philosophy is natural selection.
WHY are six-year-olds carrying firearms? Well, you just never know when a kid’s going to need to exercise a little “frontier justice” on the playground, eh?
All sarcasm aside, I can’t help but wonder how many more children are going to have to die before we recognize and come to grips with the reality that children are shooting- and in some cases killing- children?
