June 6, 2011 5:10 AM

Today's signs that the Apocalypse may be upon us

Breaking News: Not All Black Intellectuals Think Alike. Man, whodathunkit? Next, they’ll be telling us that they don’t all look alike.

Rising blood-alcohol levels in drivers disturb FHP troopers. Floriduh: Putting the “F” in “WTF??” since the 17th century.

GOP Medicare debacle proves Americans ‘love socialized medicine after all’. Hey, whodathunkit?? Americans LIKE their government being involved in health care.

Tim Pawlenty, for language geeks. Damn; who diagrams sentences anymore??

Dutch government to ban tourists from cannabis shops. There goes any incentive for going to Holland….

‘And there’s nothing racist about this.’ RIIIIIGHT…..

Grocery Workers On Hunger Strike. Competition and the recession have created a second class of citizens who cannot afford to eat the food they’re surrounding by. Welcome to Third World America.

Eating the Cost: Should Restaurant Owners Pay Workers Who Are Home Sick? And I suppose the only other option would be forcing them to come to work and potentially infect co-workers and customers? That oughta do wonders for business, eh?

Roommates’ argument over dog ends with (human) bites, deputies say. Woman bites woman. Film at 11.

Moby: Ke$ha & Britney Spears Songs Shouldn’t Be Called ‘Music’. OK, so who gets to decide what qualifies as music?

Dear France, We’re So Over. It turns out the men are creeps and sexual predators. What’s the point?

Texas Gutting Education But Spending $4 Billion to Widen 28-Mile Highway. Nice to know Texas has its priorities straight, eh?

Introducing the GOP’s green jobs plan. If there’s anything that the GOP is VERY good at, it’s repackaging and rebranding old, tired ideas that didn’t sell well in their original form.

Michelle Alexander on California’s ‘Cruel and Unusual’ Prisons. Greetings from Incarceration Nation….

Sex education: Why ARE so many female teachers having affairs with their teenage students… and is the ‘cougar effect’ to blame?. As reprehensible as it may seem, what teenage boy HASN’T dreamed about schtupping a hot teacher?

London boy breaks Seven Summits record with Everest climb. Apparently, he didn’t get the memo stating that 16-year-old boys are supposed to spend their free time brooding, texting, and playing video games.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on June 6, 2011 5:10 AM.

The GOP plan: if you get sick, die quickly was the previous entry in this blog.

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