June 29, 2011 6:24 AM

Today's signs that the Apocalypse may be upon us

Why Not To Have Sex With Creatures From The Future. Well, outside of tearing a hole in the space/time continuum, I can’t think of a single reason.

Professor arrested for creating safe, user-friendly website for prostitutes. And the problem with this would be….?

Irony Alert: ‘Torture Memos’ Author John Yoo Complains That Obama Is Bending The Law For Political Reasons. When a Republican does it, it’s inspired leadership under trying circumstance. When a Democrat does it, it’s the worst sort of abuse of power imaginable.

McConnell: GOP Would Not Voice Opposition To Libya Campaign If Obama Was A Republican. When a Republican does it, it’s inspired leadership under trying circumstance. When a Democrat does it, it’s the worst sort of abuse of power imaginable.

Danish police proposal: Ban anonymous Internet use. And it might cut down on flame wars.

Does Google Reject Job Applicants Because They’re Fat?. “Don’t be evil”, indeed.

Overworked America. The beautiful thing about The Great Recession is that those of you fortunate enough to have jobs get to work even faster and harder just to keep what you have. Oh, but good luck getting that raise you’ve been hoping for.

Pimping Professor Case Nabs University President, Prostitute Named ‘Krispi Kreme’. And we’re not talking donuts here, people….

FDA issues graphic cigarette labels. I may be a pronounced minority, but I believe that it will be a good day when a smoker has to go to Bratislava in order to smoke.

Taiwan: Blogger fined and jailed for 30 days over negative noodle review. Wow; just think what might have happened if the poor sap had written something unflattering about the government.

Economic Misery Gets A Hearing On Capitol Hill. Right…like anyone’s actually going to do anything about it.

Caption contest: T-Paw in the snack aisle. Hmm…Spam and Honey Nut Cheerios. Nope…I got nothin’.

Rep. Chris Murphy: Thomas Gift Scandal ‘Undermine[s] The Integrity of The Entire Judiciary’. OK, that and a buck might get you a latte…’cuz it’s not like Thomas is going anywhere. He’s accountable to no one.

Herman Cain: Jon Stewart Mocks Me for Being a Black Conservative. No, I do believe Stewart has been mocking Cain for offering simplistic solutions to complex problems and thinking that speaking in bromides is tantamount to leadership.

The Bill Clinton Opera. OMG…just shoot me now, willya??

Snooki Planning a Line of Pickle-Themed Flip-Flops. Remember when you used to actually have to have something positive to offer in order to become famous? I know; me, neither. Cue the Snooki sex tape in 4…3…2….

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on June 29, 2011 6:24 AM.

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