July 7, 2011 6:27 AM

This is why I'm not a caterer. Attention to detail is NOT my strong suit.

(via @MackintoshBraun)

When I become a big star, and I come to your town to play my awesome music with my bitchin’ band, I’ll likely be pretty easy to please. My bandmates, however, may prove to be a different story. As a warning, then, I’m going to provide you a glimpse at the 2011 concert tour rider for the Foo Fighters. In a word, it’s EPIC- friendly, yet firm…demanding, yet flexible…uncompromising, yet subtle. Me? All I’ll be expecting will be:

  • Two cases of Shiner Bock

  • Fourteen half-gallons of Blue Bell Key Lime Pie ice cream

  • Eight female groupies (Blonde, no more than 5’2” and 125 lbs.)…not for me, of course…they for my band mates ;-)

  • Six sausage pizzas (with extra cheese and onions) from the Green Mill in St. Paul, MN

  • Eight cases of White Rain hair spray (oh, wait…the Eighties are over….)

  • 45 lbs. of YELLOW Peanut M&Ms. Not brown, not red, not green. YELLOW.

  • 20 cases of spring water hand-bottled in the Slovenian Alps

  • Fifteen whole wheat rustic baguettes, still warm from the oven

  • Ten pounds of organic yak butter imported from the steppes of Mongolia

  • Six Chinese female gymnasts capable of performing deep-tissue massage, brazilian waxing, and discussing Keynesian economic theory

There might be a few other things, but I think you’ll find my list to be pretty reasonable. Hey, if you want the music, you gotta make sure we’re in the right frame of mind to play it, right? After all, it’s not like were the Foo Fighters.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on July 7, 2011 6:27 AM.

Once they have rights, they're going to expect to be treated like human beings was the previous entry in this blog.

Another day in Paradise (Oceanside, OR)...yet again ;-) is the next entry in this blog.

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