GOP Rep. Todd Akin: ‘The Heart Of Liberalism Really Is A Hatred For God’. If in order to be considered a “real American” I have to believe in Todd Akins’ flavor of a mean, spiteful God, then I’m proud to be an evil, hateful, Godless Librul.
Chelsea Handler offends Serbia. Earth to Serbia: Get over yourselves, already. Your tired paranoia has long since grown old. No one cares enough about you to be out to get you.
GOP Candidates Compete For Title Of ‘Sane And Reasonable’. OXYMORON ALERT!!!
As GOP Continues Its War On Women, Study Shows Female Life Expectancy Is Declining In 313 Counties. Since the GOP considers women to be the property of men, it’s hardly surprising that they’re conducting an aggressive war against women.
CEO says women get paid less because they menstruate. Hmm…if only there was an operation that could fix that.
Yes, kids, there’s a fracking coloring book. Just when you’d been thinking that corporate propaganda couldn’t POSSIBLY sink any lower….
Mother Angry Store Sold Sex Toy To Underage Girl. Maybe she was buying it as a Mother’s Day present?
“The 4.7 million barrels of aging bourbon even outnumbers the state’s population of 4.3 million.” Kentucky…where you drink to forget that you’re in Kentucky.
GOP Rep. Robert Dold Claims Preserving Oil Subsidies Is Necessary For Job Growth. Right…and subsidizing the Tooth Fairy is necessary for the survival of the dental industry.
Georgia Program Replaces Migrant Farm Workers With Ex-Cons. YAY!! Full employment!! Small government!!
Glenn Beck Will Quit If ‘The Onion’ Gets A Pulitzer. Wait, didn’t he already quit? And why would this possibly be considered a bad thing?
Victims Testify: North Carolina Forcibly Sterilized Thousands Of Poor, Uneducated, And Mentally Unstable People. So how’s that “small government” thing workin’ out fer ya?
Dating And Coupons Are Not A Perfect Match. And it’s also a recipe for guaranteeing that you won’t get a second date.
Dude! NY man’s tossed pot lands on police cruiser. Pro tip: If you’re to ditch your weed, you might just want to make certain that you’re not throwing it in the general direction of a police car.
Landlord Uses “Psychic Credit Checks” On Potential Tenants. Hmm…could you pass a psychic credit check?
Sex Advice From The Mermaid Parade. Advice from half-naked revelers? I’m all ears….
