July 9, 2011 6:51 AM

Today's signs that the Apocalypse may be upon us

How Eating French Fries Is Like Smoking Pot. DUDE…Dave’s not here, man….

Kelly Ripa already using latest science to estimate size of Regis Philbin’s penis. Hmm…I’m not exactly certain how this is supposed to make the world a better place…but, OK….

Blotto Teenage Brewers Fan Soils Himself And Falls Down Stairs At Miller Park. Ah, yes…I remember when I had my first beer….

Russia, Ukraine and South Korea Drop the Title Captain America. How do you sell an American superhero movie to a world that hates us?

Romney Calls Dodd-Frank An Overreach, Then Admits He’s Not Sure What’s In It. GOP Talking Points 101: If you don’t understand something, denounce it. It’s probably a Liberal plot to force Socialism down our throats, anyway.

GOP Senator: Saying Millionaires Should Share Pain Is ‘Rather Pathetic’. Right; because if the GOP doesn’t look after the oligarchs, who will bank roll Republican campaigns?

Is Rick Perry Preparing to Hurt George W. Bush’s Feelings?. Wait…George W. Bush has feelings??

Bachmann Only Got Law Degree Because Her Husband Told Her To, Urged Women To ‘Be Submissive To Your Husbands’. When you believe that women are the property of men, this is about all you can reasonably expect.

Sex Advice From Competitive Eaters. Sometimes, too much of a good thing is…too much.

Narcoleptic? Move to Chechnya. It’s not just a Hellhole known only for war and destruction….

Ohio GOP Weakens Election Law By Allowing Poll Workers To Refuse To Inform Voters Where They Can Vote. One person, one vote…unless, of course, that person happens to be a Democrat.

Atheists might sue over “Seven In Heaven” street sign honoring 9/11 firefighters. Uh, this might be a good time to dial back your devotion to your cause just a wee bit, knowhutimean??

Rich Bankers are Still Crying About ‘Unfair’ Pay Regulations. Yeah, how are they going to be able to pay for their Bentleys and their homes in the Hamptons??

Contrary To GOP Claims, U.S. Has Second Lowest Corporate Taxes In The Developed World. NEVER let the truth get in the way of good propaganda.

TSA warns of possible airline threat involving implanted bombs. Cue the cavity searches in 4…3…2….

Doris, A Die-Hard Yankees Fan, Sends Letter To Indians Pitcher In Which She Calls Fausto Carmona A “Spic”. Better to be thought a fool and a bigot than to…oh, never mind….

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on July 9, 2011 6:51 AM.

Today's "WTF??" moment: Where's my saddle?? was the previous entry in this blog.

Greeting from sunny Portland, OR: Things smell different here!! is the next entry in this blog.

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