Army Officer Justin Dale Little Jim Got Caught Fornicating With A Blow-Up Doll Against Its Will. Somebody’s got some ‘splainin’ to do….
Bill Clinton: GOP War on Voting Is Most Determined Disenfranchisement Effort Since Jim Crow. Because if you’re not a Republican, do you really even deserve to vote?
Fatty Foods Get You High. DUDE!!! Dave’s not here, man….
Life in an Indian call center. Welcome to life as a commodity.
As Government Revenues Reach A 60-Year-Low, DeMint Claims They’re At A ‘Record’ High. Because when you’re a Republican the truth is whatever gets you into power and keeps you there.
Elizabeth Smart is ABC News’ New Senior Abduction Correspondent. In related news, I’m announcing that I’m going to be ABC’s new Senior Baguette Correspondent. No wine and cheese will be safe….
Rick Perry Doubled Texas’ Debt, Then Balanced Budget Through Accounting Gimmicks. If you’re gonna lie, lie big. TEXAS BIG.
Michele Bachmann Pledges to Destroy Economy in First Ad. And she’s just the woman for the job.
The TSA Is All Worried About Surgically Implanted Bombs. Cue the cavity searches in 4…3…2….
Budget Cuts Force Texas Town To Lay Off Entire Police Force, Mayor Warns ‘Bolt Your Doors’. Well, how else do you think we’re going to be able to pay for CEO bonuses?
PepsiCo Is the Only Thing Keeping Poor People Alive. Saving the world, one Diet Pepsi at a time….
GOP Tax Giveaway of the Day: Big Oil Subsidies. No problem; all we have to do to offset these subsidies is cut Social Security and increase taxes on the middle class.
Michael Jordan’s High School Girlfriend Plans To Take Legal Action Over Love Letter. Ah, puppy love….
It’s Not American Airlines’ Problem That Your Mom Died. Look, all we know is that she missed her flight; it’s not important why.
Court Frowns on Maker of Homemade Electric Chair. Well, what else is a guy supposed to do when he doesn’t want his wife to divorce him?
Finally, A Feminine Hygiene Product Ad Acknowledges The Existence Of Blood. Wow…whodathunkit?
