July 14, 2011 6:24 AM

Today's signs that the Apocalypse may be upon us

Chaplain Arrested for Paying Inmate to Receive Oral Sex. It’s true; oral sex is always a good last-minute gift!

Panetta: We’re in Iraq because of 9/11. No, we’re in Iraq because 9.11 provided Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader © a pretext for lying his way into a war he’d wanted all along.

Bizarre Taiwanese funeral ritual involves neon-lit hearses, strippers. I am SO stealing this for my own funeral….

Marcus Bachmann’s Gay ‘Cure’: A hidden-camera exposé proved that Michele Bachmann’s husband practices a controversial therapy aimed at turning gays straight.. Of course, the Bachmanns are lying through their teeth. Here’s the thing, though; Michele Bachmann’s supporters JUST DON’T CARE.

Principal’s co-habitation is poor example for students. Fundamentalism: the incipient fear that someone might be getting more, and having more fun, than you are.

Why Rupert Murdoch Love$ God: World’s Biggest Sleaze Mogul Also Getting Rich from Christian Moralizers. Because their money spends like anyone else’s…and it’s ALL about the Benjamins.

Naturally, Newt Gingrich Wants To Edit The ‘Marriage Vow’. With three marriages under his belt, he has to know that he’s not exactly the dream “family values” candidate.

No Matter If You Work or Stay Home, Being a Mom Sucks. This is exactly why I never became a mother. Well, that and the fact that I’m male.

How the Right-Wing Group Behind Michele Bachmann’s Creepy Porn Pledge Pushes Female Submission. When your platform is based largely on an overarching hatred of women, this is about all you could hope for.

Finally, You Can Listen to Herman Cain’s Gospel Album. I’m all atwitter….

Drew Peterson Weighs In On Casey Anthony Verdict. Isn’t this sort of like serial-adulterer Newt Gingrich holding forth on the sanctity of marriage?

Banana at large after fight with gorilla: Strongsville Police Blotter. Well, officer…he was big and yellow….

Someone Left Their Stun Gun on a JetBlue Plane. Damn; I’d been wondering what happened to it….

Huffington Post fires a blogger for aggregating. Uh…isn’t that about 85% of what HuffPo does?

Meet ‘Moose’ The 16-Pound Infant: Father Says He Sees Football In The Future. It’s Texas; everything’s bigger, right??

Obama reportedly proposes raising Medicare eligibility age to 67. And if Republicans don’t go for that, the plan is to propose selling young children into white slavery.

blog comments powered by Disqus

Technorati

Technorati search

» Blogs that link here

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on July 14, 2011 6:24 AM.

If Matt Groening wrote headlines, they'd look a lot like this was the previous entry in this blog.

So you want to aggravate a writer? It's easier thank you might think. is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.

Contact Me

Powered by Movable Type 5.12