July 23, 2011 6:33 AM

Today's signs that the Apocalypse may be upon us

Swedish Police Have a Sperm-Sniffing Dog. Yep, Rapports Opus can sniff out a blowjob from 50 paces.

Rick Perry began political career as a young star for Texas Democrats. Conservative Democrat. Liberal Republican. Yeah, they’re both ridiculous oxymorons. Rick Perry was about as much a Democrat as I am a Lesbian Vampire Monarchist.

God’s Law is the Only Law: The Genesis of Michele Bachmann. Repression. Discrimination. Hatred. Fear. It’s What Jesus Would Do.

Vladimir Putin Wants to See Your Boobs. And what Vladimir wants, Vladimir generally gets.

Global economy: Calamity calling. If you think things really, really suck, it’s because they really, really do.

“Breast Milk Baby” Breastfeeding Doll Heading To U.S. Retailers. Cue the righteous outrage in 4…3…2….

The Origin of the Word “Soccer”. Impress your friends! Seduce women with your extensive knowledge of arcane etymology!! Well, OK…probably just the “impress your friends” part….

While Palin Documentary Flops, Fox Touts ‘Packed’ Theaters. Somewhere warm and breezy, Josef Goebbels is snickering in his Corona….

I’m The One With The Beard. Yeah…and Paul Krugman is STILL the smartest person in any room he’s in.

Giuliani: ‘The Republican Party Would Be Well Advised To Get The Heck Out Of People’s Bedrooms’. Wow…a Republican talking sense, which only means that he has NO chance of being the GOP Presidential nominee in 2012.

Get Them From The Greeks. No matter how the Right tries to spin it, here in the fact- and evidence-based world, we know that the US economy is not “just like” the Greek clusterf—k economy.

A Week of Cooking Meth Can Make You Crazy. This is why I limit my cooking to no more that 2-3 days at a time. Gotta pace yourself, don’tchaknow….

Herman Cain: Americans Have The Right To Ban Mosques. Um…shouldn’t someone really be explaining the meaning of “freedom of religion” to Cain? And ensuring that his medication is adjusted?

Whites Win Control of Nation’s Capital. After an epic struggle involving many well-heeled White Yuppies, America’s capitol is once again safe for good, God-fearing, White Folks.

Bachmann Preemptively Ditches Her Church To Avoid Association With Its Radical Views. Whew…so no one will be thinking that Bachmann’s some sort of uber-Jesus-y radical then, eh??

College Kids Injured in Molotov Cocktail Party Mishap. Yeah, that’s the sort of thing that can happen when you’re conducting an experiment in the efficacy of natural selection.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on July 23, 2011 6:33 AM.

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