It would appear that, at least in the political sphere, we’ve entered a period in our collective history where reality and honesty matter less than propaganda, dogma, and adherence to a rigid set of standards so divorced from anything resembling reality that no sane, rational person would claim them as their own. This is where the field of 2012 Republicans Presidential candidates come in; a more motley collection of zealots, ideologues, and intellectual lightweights would be difficult to imagine. Then again, True Believers care little for an honest evaluations of the problems we face. No, the process Republicans follow to select their standard-bearer is all about dog-whistle politics- code words and concepts put forth at a pitch that resonates with culture warriors, Christian zealots, and those who believe that “democracy” is really just another word for “theocracy.” Those of us who travel in the fact- and reality-based world are destined not to understand.
In order to have ANY hope of winning the GOP nomination, a candidate must reflexively and without hesitation or question worship at the altar of St. Ronald of Reagan, hate Teh Gayz, believe that Liberalism is the spawn of Satan, believe in economic policies that simply don’t work, and refuse to countenance any ideas that don’t dovetail with the Far RIght’s narrow hate- and ignorance-fueled agenda. Even worse, candidates must now swear to uphold the new Ten Commandments of Today’s GOP:
- Thou Shalt Not Raise ANY Taxes
- Thou Shalt Pass a Constitutional Amendment to Make Abortion Illegal
- Thou Shalt Pass a Constitutional Amendment to Define Marriage as the Union of a Man and a Woman
- Thou Shalt Repeal “ObamaCare,” AKA the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act
- Thou Shalt Repeal The Dodd-Frank Banking Regulation Act
- Thou Shalt Pass a Constitutional Amendment to Balance the Federal Budget
- Thou Shalt Only Give Military Support to “Our Friends”
- Thou Shalt Limit the Power of — If Not Entirely Abolish — the EPA
- Thou Shalt Drill, Mine and Frak to the Widest Extent Possible
- Thou Shalt Take the Name of President Obama in Vain
The good news, of course, is that whichever zombie Conservative wins the nomination, there’s no way that they can win in the general election by running with one foot hanging off the far right edge of the political spectrum. The minority of Right-wing zealots who vote in straw polls, caucuses, and primaries simply don’t have the numbers to actually elect someone whose politics reflect their own. In order to attract a broader base of support, any Republican will have to move to the left, which will prove to be both fascinating and humorous to watch. It will be fascinating in that over time, the GOP standard-bearer will have to largely (and very quietly) renounce the far Right-wing views necessary to win the nomination. It will be humorous in that watching the GOP nominee tack to the left as they weather the inevitable whining and caterwauling of those who supported them during primary season- an exercise in watching Conservatives eat their young. Today’s Conservatism and political reality mix about as well as oil and water, so the nominee will have to navigate the Sturm und Drang generated by those on the far Right (Et tu, Teabaggers?) who think compromise of any sort is for losers and Liberals.
Republican politics is always rife with hypocrisy and zealotry; this campaign season is really no different in that sense. What IS different is that the influence of the take-no-prisoners-show-no-mercy-kill-them-all-let-God-sort-them-out Tea Party is certain to lend a tinge of immaturity and petulance to a process not exactly known for adult-like behavior. For sheer entertainment value, Indecision 2012 should be world-class. Of course, if you’re expecting leadership, seriousness, and commitment to making things better…well, it’s like they say about friends in Washington- if you want one, get a dog. Lord knows that expecting anything positive promises to be a recipe for disappointment on an epic scale.
