Lindsborg, Kansas’s tiny Bethany College—a Lutheran school, home of the Fighting Swedes—has suspended its entire golf team for three tournaments as a punishment for taking the above naked photo together. You can’t see any dong in the shot, but it’s there, under the golfing gear.
Having grown up surrounded by Lutherans, I can confirm that there are few things your average devout Lutheran fears more than naked human flesh. The idea that the mere sight of naked human flesh might lead to something carnal and sinful is almost more than most Midwestern Lutherans can handle. Anyone who’s gone to college for any appreciable length of time, though, probably recognizes that this sort of thing is actually pretty tame compared to what isn’t normally captured photographically. Then again, if you believe that seeing a (mostly) naked human body is enough to make the baby Jesus cry…well, these 15 college students sporting nothing but strategically golfing equipment are probably going to be enough to fry your synapses.
My first impression upon seeing this photo was that these guys are in pretty good shape for being golfers, not a group normally known for being fitness fanatics. And just think of all the free publicity Bethany College is getting (you’re welcome). Yeah, I know; I get that Lutherans have standards and that this sort of frivolous, salacious nudidity (apologies to Fr. Francis Mulcahy from MAS*H) simply can’t be allowed to continue unchecked…because then the young ‘uns might we to start having- GASP!!- sex. Still, how many of y’all had even heard of Bethany College- or Lindsborg, KS- before this?
That’s exactly my point. There’s a school of thought that holds that any publicity is good publicity. I can’t believe that Bethany College is currently so overwhelmed with qualified applicants clamoring to spend four years at a Lutheran college in East Noplace, KS, that the Admissions office can’t handle a few more applicants. So people like myself are providing them with some free advertising…how bad can that be??
Even better, this has got to be doing wonders for the golf team’s recruiting efforts….
Remember, y’all; it takes a stiff shaft and dimpled balls to play golf- not that you can tell that from the picture, of course…. ;-)
