August 8, 2011 5:59 AM

Today's signs that the Apocalypse may be upon us

Lost painting of Jesus found in Tennessee trailer park. As you might expect, it was displayed next to velvet paintings of dogs playing poker and Elvis. Quelle surprise….

FCC Promises 100,000 New Jobs… At Call Centers. In Bangalore.

Stop Quitting Your Job Over Naked Photos. Really; does it have to become a scandal if you don’t allow it to? Just because others think you should resign doesn’t mean you shouldn’t act as if nothing’s happening, right? After all, they’re just photos of your penis.

Rick Perry’s Killing of an Innocent Man Is Somehow a Political Asset. Yep…there’s nothing quite like executing an innocent man to prove your law and order bonafides to the drooling Sheeple.

You and your girlfriend are robbed. Worse: Robbers introduce your girlfriend to your wife. Man, you have to know that you’re about to have a VERY bad day when….

Dudes With Beards Eating Cupcakes. Yeah, it’s pretty much as gross as you think it is.

ROMNEY PAC GETS $1 MILLION FROM COMPANY THAT DISAPPEARED AFTER DONATING. Thanks, Citizens United, for removing that nasty stigma from corruption!! Buying elections used to require that the involved parties at least act as if they were being above board. Now that charade is no longer necessary.

Brazilian Lawmakers Fight for Straights’ Rights. Because Lord knows it ain’t easy being a member of an oppressed majority.

Woman’s outfit blamed for police-dog bite. If you’re going to insist on wearing Milk Bone underwear, you’re going to have to expect that a Pit Bull may view you as a mid-afternoon snack.

Iowa’s GOP Governor Vetoes Tax Break For The Poor Because It Didn’t Lower Corporate Taxes. Hey, it’s not like the poor write checks to GOP political candidates….

Do Democrats Have a Plan for the Next Hostage Crisis?. In a word, no.

Fabio reads the weather for a Portland TV station. Incoherent, cringe-worthy…and evidently built to stay that way.

Bank Tries To Foreclose On Gas Station Owner For Being One Day Late With Mortgage Payment. Or, more accurately, legalized theft. Stay classy….

Gun parts found in Tampa International Airport terminal restroom. Oh, my…somebody’s gonna have some ‘splainin’ to do….

To Catch a Predator Host Allegedly Cheated on His Mistress With a Stripper. Ah, Karma…she can be a real bitch, no?? Yes, she most certainly can….

10.5% Of Spirit’s Revenue Comes From Baggage Fees. Nothing like a business model built on exploiting customers, eh??

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on August 8, 2011 5:59 AM.

Bernie Sanders 2012: Because he's a true Progressive was the previous entry in this blog.

Better to be thought a fool than to put up a billboard along I-5 and remove all doubt is the next entry in this blog.

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