Here’s a novel theory from the terminally paranoid crackpot head ogre at the NRA: President Obama’s refusal to steal all of their guns is really just his massive conspiracy to steal all their guns. This is how it works: Obama lulls all of the gun owners into a perilous sense of security by never proposing gun control legislation of any kind during the course of his entire term and even helpfully neglects to reinstate Bill Clinton’s pansy-ass elitist assault weapons ban, and THEN — wait for it — while everybody is casually making small talk about that hilarious time Bob shot his neighbor for letting his dog poop on Bob’s lawn, WHAM, Obama rocket launches storm trooper Ban Ki Moon and his feared army of U.N. bureaucrats straight at the guns and cold STEALS EVERY ONE OF THEM before setting fire to the Constitution to “erase the evidence.” Really, that’s how it happens!
So…let me see if I understand this fully. If Wayne LaPierre is to be believed, America will only be saved (translation: “Deny Barack Obama a second term”) when gun owners step and make themselves heard? Well, LaPierre is the head of the NRA, of course- one of the most paranoid (and most powerful) lobbies in Washington- and if anyone can brief Paranoid-Americans about the evil plans and goals of the Obama Administration, it would be him.
The thing that’s so brilliant(ly unhinged) about LaPierre’s argument is that it paints Barack Obama into a damned-if-he-does-and-damned-if-he-doesn’t corner. If his Administration does move overtly to curtail gun rights (a highly unlikely proposition, to be sure), LaPierre can step up and say, “You see; I told you this would happen!” If they do nothing, then LaPierre can claim (with no proof or evidence of any sort) that the Obama Administration is plotting behind the backs of gun owners to stage a sneak attack on their Second Amendment rights.
It’s all part of a massive Obama Conspiracy to deceive voters and hide his true intentions and hide his true intentions to destroy the Second Amendment in our country…. Before the President was even sworn into office, they met and they hatched a conspiracy of public deception to try to guarantee his re-election in 2012. They didn’t want to tangle with NRA’s four million members, or with the 30 million who identify themselves publicly with the NRA, or with America’s 90 million gun owners…. So they made a political calculation to avoid the gun issue during the first term.
LaPierre knows that you can’t disprove a negative, and so he builds his “argument” in such a way that- if you’re so inclined and don’t really care about facts or truth- it actually sounds plausible. He’s constructed a scenario in which no matter which option they choose, Barack Obama and his evil minions are coming for your guns.
TO THE BARRICADES!!
Listening to LaPierre, I was stunned at the paranoia and arrogance behind his remarks. After two decades at helm of NRA, LaPierre’s ego has clearly outstripped reality. His outsized view of his own and NRA’s importance would be amusing if it wasn’t so self-important and malevolent. Whether or not LaPierre actually believes his paranoid theory is almost beside the point, because what he’s no doubt really trying to do is to keep the money flowing in from NRA members already predisposed to assume the worst of Barack Obama. Though there’s no evidence to indicate that the Obama Administration has any intention whatsoever of trying to curtail Second Amendment rights, that LaPierre and his paranoid membership KNOWS that Democrats want to take away their guns is an article of faith and their raison d’etre.
It’s not exactly stretching the bounds of credibility to assert that the NRA is one of the biggest reasons it’s so difficult to have an honest and open conversation about…well, just about anything these days. When millions can be whipped into a vigorous “two-minute hate” so quickly and easily, how can you have a rational conversation? When one side constructs a scenario in which their adversary is- whether through omission or commission- working to destroy the rights of good, God-fearing, patriotic Americans…well, why even waste your breath trying to convince them otherwise?
It would be nice to think that the NRA actually cares about the future of this country. Truth be told, the only things Wayne LaPierre cares about is maintaining his own position of power and that of NRA. If the truth has to be mangled along the way in order to keep the money rolling in and the membership marching in lockstep behind him, so be it.
WE DESERVE BETTER.
