October 26, 2011 5:34 AM

Lindsay Lohan saves America from itself

In a world beset by economic and political turmoil, where Americans turn on one another because of the color of their skin and what they believe, I suppose it’s comforting to know that there’s one thing that can unite us. No, I’m not talking about football, fried chicken, or the war on terror. I’m talking about the long-awaited, much-anticipated news that Lindsay Lohan will be posing nude for Playboy. No, this doesn’t count against her court-ordered community service (though some dateless males might argue that Lohan will in fact be performing the ultimate community service), and yes, she’s allegedly getting somewhere between $750K and $1 million (Hey; I’ll drop trou and pose naked for a whole lot less….). Still, if we as a nation are focused on Lohan’s centerfold, at least we’ll be distracted from all the things that ail America today.

So, here’s a WWJD doff of the chapeau to Lindsay Lohan, a true American patriot, for selflessly placing country above whatever inhibitions she has left. May she enjoy the pile of cash she’ll from her selfless public service…once she’s out of prison, of course….

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on October 26, 2011 5:34 AM.

Today in "People Unclear On The Concept": Wrong Rangers, dude.... was the previous entry in this blog.

If there's a God, may we never, EVER hear the phrase "Get in Tim Tebow's pants" again is the next entry in this blog.

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