(via mi compadre and raconteur extraordinaire Harold Cook)
I lived in Texas for 10 years, so I know that Texans come from a long line of pioneers, people used to facing down difficult challenge with steely determination and courage. Yep; Texans do things a little differently…not that this is always a good thing, of course. Some times things manage to get a wee bit out of hand, even for the Lone Star State. F’rinstance, you have to know that things have gone off the rails when you see a headline like this on the website of Dallas’ Fox affiilate:
Man Allegedly Beat Woman with Frozen Armadillo
I mean, what else would you use a frozen armadillo for, right??
Of course, I know that you’re probably ask yourself why anyone would want a frozen armadillo? Well, in Texas they are really on two reasons one would want a frozen armadillo: either as 1) food, or 2) a weapon. In this case, things degraded to the point where it could have been either one.
According to investigators, the altercation occurred when the suspect was selling the carcass to the victim, who planned to eat the animal.
The pair apparently began arguing over the price of the item when the man twice threw the armadillo at the woman.
The animal first struck the woman in the leg and then in her chest.
Let that be a lesson to all y’all: NEVER get between a Texan and his armadillo. He’s going to suspect that you want to either deprive him of dinner, or a projectile…and things could get ugly.