November 17, 2011 7:30 AM

The latest communiques from my Nigerian relatives

Every now and again, my long-lost Nigerian relatives check in. I never when I’ll hear from them (they’re not the greatest correspondents), but when the do check in, it’s usually with something interesting. This time, I’ve evidently won a $#!&load of money, and I’m all atwitter….

Faris Alsheblawy ✆ farisalsheblawy@shaw.ca
Nov 13

to undisclosed recipients

Your email has been awarded £750,000 for being a regular user from microsoft/msn PROMO 2011 in London, SUBMIT THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION’S IMMEDIATELY.CONTACT (Mr.) Adolf Stratford Thomas +447017990039, +447017422245 Senior Account Manager Barclays Bank Plc.FOR CLAIMS CLICK on reply for further assistance on how to claim funds.

  1. Full Names-
  2. Home Address-
    3.-Age-
    4Sex-
  3. Mobile no
    6.Occupation-
    7 .Bank Name-
    Account Number-

Man, I can hardly wait to get my money. I wonder where my checkbook is…?

Oh…and it gets better. It really does appear as if my ship has come in:

BARCLAYS BANK PLC ✆ customercares@bitscn.net

20:57

to me

Barclays Commercial Bank has dedicated banking services that grows with your business and experts who understand your needs and ambitions.Barclays Bank PLC is authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority. Barclays Bank PLC adheres to the principles of the Banking Code. A copy of the Code is available on request. “The Woolwich” and “Woolwich” are trading names of Barclays Bank PLC.

CUSTOMERS ATTENTION
24 Hrs Online Customer Service

Barclays Commercial Bank Of London
London Branch………

PO BOX 36997, Catford,

London, SE6 4WT, UK

Registered Office: Barclays,

Registered No: 169628.

ATTENTION: MICROSOFT LOTTERY WINNER

We are sorry to inform you that your transfer could not be completed, due to the fact that your nominated account is not a foreign account.

However, your winning fund of £750,000 GBP is set to be transfer to your home bank account information sent to us. All verification has been done, and your winning fund can only be transfer through the Reserved Bank Of India. Because your nominated account is not a foreign account.

NOTE: The Reserved Bank Of India will charge you Rupees 24,770 INR as Administration Fee to enable them to transfer the funds successfully to your account. This Administration Fee comprises of Registration Fee of Rupees 10,500 INR, Foreign Exchange Stamp Duty 8,500 INR and Clearance Fee of Rupees 5,770 INR. So the total becomes as Rupees 24,770 INR.

This is in accordance with section 13(1)(n) of the international transfer act as adopted in 1996 and amended on 3rd July 2001 by the constitutional assemble. We want you to understand that your won amount will now be transfer through the Reserve Bank Of India to avoid any inconvenience or delay that might lead to loose winnings.

To proceed further you are to re-confirm your account information and kindly send us 1 Passport photograph on time to avoid delay.

Account Name:

Account Number:

Bank Name:

Be assured inline with our principles of efficiency, transparency and customer satisfaction, we will handle your case with the highest level of professionalism and discretion to ensure you receive your prize within the shortest possible time.You will only have to follow instructions as stated above and accordingly as all procedures are meant to protect clients and to avoid cases of misappropriation of fund.

Towards your response to this mail, we shall assign one of our Officer to carry out this transaction in Reserved Bank Of Indiasame day will receive your mail. Maywhile, the officer will be coming down to india with your Won Cheque along with your Winning Certificates and the cheque will be deposited in Reserved Bank Of India. Note that the RBI will transfer your fund to your local account immediately after the documentation process.

While we await your response thank you for your time and urgent attention to these vital request as we are committed in delivering high quality banking services to suit your needs.

For query or further clarification, please contact the Senior Accounts Manager of the Account Department on direct line +447017990039 Sir Adolf Stratford Thomas (Mr.).

Sir Adolf Stratford Thomas (Mr.),
(Senior Officer)
Account Department (Local/ Foreign)
International Banking Unit,
Barclays Bank Plc..,

Tel: +447017990039, +447017422245, +447017422336

Barclays Bank Plc.
==============================

Home internet online transfer
==============================

Travel Services
==============================
Standard Account Services
==============================
Foreign Currency Drafts
==============================
Company or Personal Cheques
==============================

Western Union Payments

==============================
Copyright © 2011 Barclays Bank Plc.
__________
CONFIDENTIAL FROM Barclays Bank Plc.
Proud sponsors of the Barclays Premier League.

blog comments powered by Disqus

Technorati

Technorati search

» Blogs that link here

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on November 17, 2011 7:30 AM.

Today's signs that the Apocalypse may be upon us was the previous entry in this blog.

Today's "WTF??" moment: Time to be honest about the control the oligarchy has over us is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.

Contact Me

Powered by Movable Type 5.12