In the beginning, naturally, comes the Word. But not just any Word. Tim Tebow knows that the text of the Holy Bible is literal and unerring—so make sure you give your loved ones the right versions of the infallible text. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another,” Tebow told his Denver teammates. That’s the brawny and inspiring New International Version of Proverbs 27:17. Compare the feebly gender-inclusive Today’s New International Version: “…one person sharpens another.” “Persons” don’t win football games! Men do. But the Bob Tebow Evangelistic Association’s guide to Tim Tebow’s eyeblack quotes appears to favor the New American Standard Version. Get both of them on your Kindle, just to be safe.
If you’re like me, you’re struggling with those last-minute decisions about what to get those hard to buy for folks on your Christmas list. Well, if your friend or loved one is a fan of Tim Tebow, the dedicated staff at Deadspin has put together a handy dandy and uber-Jesus-y shopping list of Christian gifts that would make Tebow proud.
Many of the gifts come with the seal of approval of the Bob Tebow Evangelical Association…or they would, if Tim Tebow’s father was into that sort of thing.
Whether the person on your list is hoping for a “Tebowing” t-shirt, a Kindle version of the Bible, or perhaps even a circumcision clamp (don’t ask), the good folks at Deadspin have been thoughtful enough to gather it all in one place for you.
Just keep in mind that you’re going to want to be very careful with that circumcision clamp….