December 13, 2011 5:32 AM

Today's signs that the Apocalypse may be upon us

For Unto You Is Born This Day In The City Of Denver A Savior, Which Is Tim Tebow (Expedited Shipping Available). OMG…just when you might have been thinking that Tebowmania couldn’t POSSIBLY become any sillier.

Real estate: Dickman’s Meat & Deli will continue east-side operation. It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s…oh, never mind….

Spandex Stretches To Meet U.S. Waistlines. Hey, it’s easier than living a healthier lifestyle and trying to lose weight.

PETA enlists Lingerie Football League players for new anti-fur campaign. THIS is why we love football….

The Disappearance of the Compassionate Conservatives. “Compassionate Conservative” has been an oxymoron for several years now. It’s not as if this is news.

Lindsay Lohan Tells Playboy She’s Learned From Her Mistakes. “Uh, yeah…looking back, I probably would have gotten caught less.”

Finally, A Rich American Destroys The Fiction That Rich People Create Jobs. It’s tough when the truth doesn’t support your finely-crafted and focus-grouped propaganda and talking points, eh?

ELIZABETH WARREN SLAMS KARL ROVE’S DISHONEST ATTACK AD AS ‘FACTUALLY WRONG AND MORALLY WRONG’. “Karl Rove” and “morally wrong”…isn’t that redundant??

‘Car Thongs’ Are the New ‘Truck Nutz’. It’s also the universe’s way of telling you that you have too damned much money.

People Fondly Recall the Latest Virginia Tech Shooter. But he was such a nice and kind cop killer….

McConnell: GOP Isn’t ‘Here To Defend High-Income People’. No, the GOP is there to do the bidding and protect the interests of high-income people.

Can You Tell the Difference Between a Men’s Magazine And a Rapist?. Not if you have the intellectual agility of a third-grader.

Lowe’s, Bank Of America, And Others Pull Ads From Muslim Reality TV Show After Pressure. Because, as ANY red-blooded True American Christian Patriot knows, there’s no such thing as an “All-American Muslim.”

Report: National League MVP Ryan Braun Failed A Performance-Enhancing-Drug Test. This just in: Ryan Braun kills Golden Goose. Film at 11….

Swingers club in Seffner neighborhood shut down by sheriff’s detectives. Yeah, you know that whole “consenting adults” and “in the privacy of their own home” thing? Yeah, well, that evidently doesn’t apply in Floriduh

Perry Admits His Tax Plan Slams Low-Income People And Lets The Wealthy Pay Nothing. American democracy: The best government money can buy.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on December 13, 2011 5:32 AM.

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