December 17, 2011 5:16 AM

Today's signs that the Apocalypse may be upon us

The Twelve Republican Days of Christmas. It’s almost enough to make you swear off the holiday altogether.

Fox News Names Pepper Spray Person of the Year: First Food Product to Snag Top Honors. Hey, it’s basically a food product, right? So what’s the problem?

GOP Moves to Require Pee Tests and GEDs for Unemployed. They’re only poor and unemployed because of their sloth and indolence, right? So why should we be making their lives difficult?

Reducing prison population is hard. Especially when Republicans continue to be penny-wise and pound-foolish, cutting programs that would help reduce the prison population. Incarceration Nation is alive and well and prisons have become a growth industry.

Presenting the Ten Greediest Americans of 2011. I’d imagine that the biggest challenge was limiting the list to only 10 greedheads.

On The Thirteenth Day Of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me. Eww. Just Eww.

Falling in Polls, Romney Considers Adultery: Huddles with Advisors About Possible Affair. Desperate times call for desperate bimbos…uh, measures….

No Country for Innocent Men. Hey, if they weren’t guilty, Texas wouldn’t execute ‘em, right?

58 donors responsible for 80% of SuperPAC funding. If that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about what’s wrong with America today, I don’t know what will.

Gingrich Proposed the Death Penalty for Pot Smokers — Even Though He Admitted to Smoking it Himself. Using that logic, I’d like to propose the death penalty for being Newt Gingrich.

Wisconsin’s Scott Walker recall workers face intimidation. Quelle surprise; the minions of a corrupt despot playing dirty. Who could have seen that coming?

Frat Survey Asks: ‘If You Could Rape Someone, Who Would it Be?’. There’s a time and a place for that, and it’s called “college.”

‘You All Deserve What Happened On 9/11’ KC Chiefs Fans Yell As They Beat Jets Fan To Pulp. Stay classy, Chiefs fans!! I can only hope that there’s a reserved parking space waiting for y’all in Hell.

Conservatives Warn of OWS Propaganda in Schools. If you allow children to think for themselves, they might end up becoming…GASP!!!…Liberals.

Deal Reached in Durban But Scientists Say it Won’t Avert Catastrophic Climate Change. And so Nero continues fiddling while Rome burns.

Archaeologists expose everything in 2012. Twelve months of naked archaeologists? Be still, my foolish heart.

This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions. If you can draw a cat, you can draw a…oh, wait, this is supposed to be a family show, right??

blog comments powered by Disqus

Technorati

Technorati search

» Blogs that link here

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on December 17, 2011 5:16 AM.

My new Twitter hero was the previous entry in this blog.

Friends don't let friends use Internet Explorer is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.

Contact Me

Powered by Movable Type 5.12