December 29, 2011 5:05 AM

Today's signs that the Apocalypse may be upon us

Václav Havel on Kim Jong-il. Evil, despotic megalomania with a REALLY bad haircut.

New North Korean leader issued military orders, South Korea says. Evidently, it was for a banana split.

French government ‘to order women to remove defective breast implants’. I don’t know whether to pity or envy the bureaucrats charged with enforcing the order. And how do they plan to verify compliance? Can you really fondle 30,000 pairs of breasts…and are they hiring??

Hero Iowa Voter Perfectly Describes Newt Gingrich To His Face. Anyone who would call Newt Gingrich a “f——-g a——-e” to his face deserves a pat on the back and the admiration of a grateful nation. If it was me, I would have included “lying” in there as well. Ain’t the 1st Amendment grand??

2 women share 1st kiss at Navy ship’s return. I dream of a time when this sort of thing will no longer be thought newsworthy.

Soldiers just back from Iraq get new orders: Afghanistan. Really? Are we just planning to wear the troops out until they completely break down?

Weird names for kids in Scotland this year include Jesuslovesme, Awesome & Delight. Sorry, but if you’ve decided to name your child Jesuslovesme, Awesome, or Delight, you’ve just forfeited your parental rights. Permanently.

BA BBQ turns 18-wheeler into food truck with 10 grills, wood smoker. Because food carts are for wussies.

Judge to Police: Relax About the ‘Weed Man’. Isn’t freedom of speech the coolest thing ever? Memo to NYPD: you don’t get to harrass and/or oppress someone merely because you happen to find their message offensive and/or distasteful.

Twelve Indicted In Amish Beard-Cutting Attacks. Business in the front, criminal mischief in the back.

Hungary Hit by Second Rating Downgrade to Junk on Premier Orban’s Policies. Things are so bad in Hungary that the country can’t get a loan to buy lunch.

TSA finds throwing daggers hidden in book at Reagan-Washington National Airport. Words are weapons, sharper than knives….

Professional Troll Flees Iowa In Fear. It’s NEVER a good idea to piss off people for whom torches and pitchforks are standard equipment, knowhutimean??

Texas College Republican Would So Get an ‘A’ in Racist Twitter Poetry. Cassandra Wright: A true Hero of the Socialist State.

Ron Paul Suddenly Doesn’t Want to Talk to Reporters. Perhaps because when he does, he sounds like…well, like the crazy old former racist he used to be.

Serious Journalists Begin To Wonder: Is Ron Paul Racist? Is Sarah Palin Still Not Running? Is Dick Cheney being kept alive for a late run at the GOP nomination?

Chinese Hackers Beat U.S. Chamber of Commerce Into Total Submission. Someone should give those folks a medal.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on December 29, 2011 5:05 AM.

Grief is the price we pay for love, #2 was the previous entry in this blog.

Can you count to five? Spell "cat"? Good deal; you're qualified to work for Fox Noise Channel is the next entry in this blog.

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