What a week for Old People Discoveries: On Monday, the New York Times alerted the world to a curious new trend called “planking,” and yesterday, NBC’s Providence affiliate launched a special investigative report into the “potential dangers” of a “new game” called beer pong.
Here in America, we should be grateful for an ever-alert media that stands ready to warn us of impending threats. For years, we’ve been able to count on the media to warn us of dangers to our children, our food, and Our Way of Life. Ever on guard for the next big threat, Providence’s NBC affiliate is shining the white-hot spotlight of its “I-Team” on the looming danger that is…wait for it…beer pong.
For those of you who haven’t gone to college in the past 30 years, or are for some reason without access to YouTube or Wikipedia or Google, “beer pong” is a diabolical game played largely by college students when they don’t want to study…which is pretty much all the time.
And…GASP!! OH, THE HORROR OF IT ALL!!…beer pong even has rules:
With a variety of rules, the idea is to shoot a ping pong ball into a cup of beer or water and be rewarded by getting to drink the beer out of the 16 ounce cups or claiming a pot of money or, as our undercover producer found, getting a shot of booze when you win.
No, there’s no truth to the rumor that I have a beer pong table on my Christmas list….
Tune in tomorrow, when News10’s I-Team will warn us about the dangers of Rock and Roll, Betamax, and 8-tracks….