January 28, 2012 7:53 AM

This is why I had all my children vicariously

LAKE OSWEGO — Even in Lake Oswego, where police follow the motto, “No Call Too Small,” this surely must be a candidate for Police Log Item of the Day:

At 8:34 a.m. Monday, while students had a day off from school to honor the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., an 11-year-old boy called police.

The boy complained that his mother had taken away his PlayStation 3. What’s more, he said, she wasn’t going to return it until he practiced playing piano.

Police advised the boy that “his mother can do that.”

There’s a reason I never had children. This isn’t it, but I like it better than the real reason….

Lake Oswego has a (not undeserved) reputation as being the wealthiest and most uptight suburb of Portland. There are more Acuras, BMWs, and spoiled children per capita in Lake Oswego than anywhere else in the Portland metro area. The idea of a child there calling the police to complain about Mom taking away his PS3 isn’t really all that far-fetched. I mean, the town’s built around a privately-owned lake, ferchrissakes.

If not for an unreasonable and intolerant ex-girlfriend and a wonderful twist of fate, I’d be living in Lake Oswego right now. Life is good, no? And I don’t have to worry about practicing the piano….

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on January 28, 2012 7:53 AM.

You have to know the Apocalypse is nigh when this is the best Hollywood can do was the previous entry in this blog.

Same-sex marriage: Time to do the right thing for the right reasons is the next entry in this blog.

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