The contest: School offers prizes if kids hold it in. This sounds like a bladder infection looking for a place to happen.
Bill Maher: ”Not Romney’ Is An Even Bigger Ahole Than Romney’**. This would be funny if it wasn’t so spot-on.
Jerry Springer To Fox News: ‘You Guys, Every Single Day, Bash President Obama’. This just in: the sun rises in the east, water is wet, and coffee is hot.
Tim Tebow Played Injured. Get Used To It.. Evidently, God has a very high pain threshold.
Barber: Gays Seek to ‘Desecrate’ Chruch Property. Man, who knew Teh Gayz had so much power?
Kimmel Updates Huntsman’s Romney Attack Ads. The man who was once Satan Incarnate is now a wise and principled leader with the best interests of America at heart.
Driver was reading Bible as she drove on A90 on way to funeral. Jesus may be your co-pilot, but you’re still going to get busted for distracted driving.
Romney Fundraises At Home Of Wall Streeter Who Compared Closing Tax Loopholes To Nazi Invasion. The rich aren’t like you or me; they see tax breaks and loopholes as their birthright.
“Honey Badger” viral video to become terrible TV show. Of course it is; all the really original ideas have already long since been used.
Gingrich Lavished Praise On Private Equity When Paid To Deliver A Speech. Newt Gingrich would wax rhapsodic about Satan if the Dark Lord was going to write him a large check.
SANTORUM: MEDICARE IS LIKE ROMNEYCARE. If God had meant for you to have access to health care or health insurance, you’d have been born White, wealthy, and Conservative.
New Facebook App Lets Users Compose Last Update Before They Die. If I’m about to die, I doubt composing a Facebook update is going to be a priority.
TSA admits wrongdoing in cases of two elderly woman who claim they were strip-searched. There was no mention of what would be done with the explosive vests each of the women was wearing.
Craig James’s Senate Campaign Is Going About As Poorly As You Expected It To Go. Sounds like someone should stick to what he knows.
Whose 10-Year-Old Daughter Just Landed A Modeling Campaign?. Who says children can’t be sexually exploited for profit?
Muslim College Student Reports Sexual Harassment, Gets Reported To FBI For Terrorism And Expelled. Because, as any REAL American knows, all Muslims are America-hating terrorists who despise us for our freedom and democracy. And our 30 minutes or less guaranteed pizza delivery.