CHICKEN nugget fan Stacey Irvine has been warned they are KILLING her — because the 17-year-old has eaten practically nothing else since the age of TWO. Horrified doctors learned of the teenager’s chronic 15-year addiction after she collapsed and was rushed to hospital struggling to breathe. Factory worker Stacey, who has never touched greens or fruit, was found to have anaemia and swollen veins in her tongue.
From the “Natural Selection Works In Mysterious Ways” file comes the story of Stacey Irvine. Irvine, a blissfully clueless 17-year-old girl devoid of anything resembling nutritional awareness, has eaten almost nothing but chicken nuggets since the age of two. Think about that for a moment; living the first 17 years of your life and never tasting fruit or green vegetables. Most children might think that would be a little bit of Heaven, but to a doctor that would seem like a recipe for “failure to thrive.”
Even after becoming ill and being put on vitamins, it’s only just now that Ms. Irvine is realizing that her diet of chicken nuggets and nothing but chicken nuggets:
“I am starting to realise this is really bad for me.”
Well, DUH…Captain Obvious is holding on line two….
“She’s been told in no uncertain terms that she’ll die if she carries on like this. But she says she can’t eat anything else.”
The only variation in Stacey’s diet apart from fries is the occasional slice of toast for breakfast — and CRISPS.
She said: “I first tasted chicken nuggets when my mum took me to McDonald’s when I was two. I loved them so much they were all I would eat.
“I just couldn’t face even trying other foods. Mum gave up giving me anything else years ago.”
I wonder if anyone has ever shown Ms. Irvine how chicken nuggets are prepared. No one should operate under any illusion that chicken nuggets have anything resembling nutritional value. The reality of what goes into the manufacturing of Chicken McNuggets, for instance, is nothing short of revolting. Sorry, y’all, but any food manufacturing process that includes things like mechanically separated chicken and ammonia isn’t making food. The final product may be edible, and it may not sicken or kill you, but it sure ain’t food.
Basically, the entire chicken is smashed and pressed through a sieve—bones, eyes, guts, and all. it comes out looking like this.
There’s more: because it’s crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color.
But, hey, at least it tastes good, right?
That Ms. Irvine has lived to the ripe old age of 17 on a diet consisting overwhelmingly of chicken nuggets is nothing short of miraculous. Regardless of the reason for her obsession, her diet, if it can even be called that, is a recipe for a very short life.
Then again, Ms. Irvine will never be short of toys….