A Christian Conservative in Every Bedroom? Rick Santorum’s Nightmare Vision for America. If you’ve never read The Handmaid’s Tale, you probably should hie thee down to your local library (before Teapublicans cut off funding). Back alley abortions? A $5 trillion cut in federal spending with the defense budget untouched? Eliminate financial and other regulatory laws? War as an the instrument of foreign policy? Turn over government to the American Taliban? What could POSSIBLY go wrong??
**
Santorum: Satan is Systematically Destroying America. “When Fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in an American flag and carrying a Bible.” I think I saw that on a bumper sticker once.
**
Do Conservatives Understand How the Female Body Works? The Myth Fueling the Right-Wing Freak-Out Over Birth Control. I think the root of the problem is that Conservatives fundamentally DON’T understand how the female body works. All they know is that women are WAY too emotional to be trusted with decisions relating to their bodies. That’s what men are for.
**
Hey, guess what, America?? Virgil Goode is running for President!! A grateful nation asks, “Who in the Hell is Virgil Goode?”
**
I wanna be Nicolas Cage in my next life, so I can uses words like “nouveau shamanic” to impress chicks and get laid.
**
You really have to admire Jon Stewart’s restraint. He’s been wanting so badly to make a “Santorum” joke…but it’s just too damned easy.
**
If you find yourself thinking that the Far Right is devoid of compassion, you’re right.
**
You have to know that going to a Lakers game isn’t what it used to be when Jack Nicholson can’t even stay awake during games.
**
In case your miserable sex life wasn’t exasperating enough, here are a few tips guaranteed to make things even worse.
**
It’s become an article of faith among Conservatives (Et tu, Marco Rubio??) that Americans are becoming more Conservatives. That’s the beautiful thing about being a Conservative, though; you can just make stuff up without having to worry about whether or not it’s actually true. The reality is that Americans are becoming less Conservative…not that the truth actually matters to Conservatives.