February 7, 2012 5:16 AM

Today's signs that the Apocalypse may be upon us

Man Adopts Girlfriend: John Goodman’s ‘Daughter’ Could Protect Assets In Wrongful Death Lawsuit. Doctor, could I have Woody Allen Syndrome?

Brian Williams’ Coffee Has Poop in It: A Guide to Manhattan’s Filthiest Starbuckses. So THAT’S where their new blend comes from.

Seattle library lets man watch porn, despite complaint. They figured it would be easier to clean a monitor than to unstick magazine pages.

Romney Says He’s ‘Not Concerned About the Very Poor,’ Stuns No One. All he did was to restate what anyone who’s been paying attention already knows.

Brooklyn sex shop delivers toys like right now. Because sometimes 30 minutes or less is just too long to wait.

Do You Like Online Privacy? You May Be a Terrorist. Really, if you have nothing to hide, why not just allow the government unfettered access to your private information and online activity?

Dear Brian Cashman, I Am Wearing Your Pajama Pants In Your Mistress’s Living Room. Doesn’t everyone want to sleep with a Yankee?

David Choe Just Made $200 Million For Painting Facebook Office with Erotic Art in 2005. Yeah, sure, so getting paid in company stock seemed kinda silly at the time….

The iPhone’s Siri doesn’t seem so smart in Scotland. If humans can’t understand a Scot, how could we expect an iPhone to understand them?

Hoboken rejects Jersey Shore spinoff starring Snooki and Jwoww. It’s good to know that even stupid and pointless have their limits.

Woman steals truck with cherry picker, leads cops on Seattle chase. Stealing a cherry picker? The woman said it was on her bucket list.

Frequent fliers jolted as Citibank says some miles are taxable. So no good deed goes unpunished, then?

Which Candidate Can Save White People for David Brooks?. Thank God someone’s looking out for White Folks.

Santorum Correctly Warns GOP They ‘Can Do Better’ Than Mitt Romney. Nominating a ham sandwich would be an improvement.

Website set up by Plymouth student suspended after article ‘condoning rape’. Hey, it’s the Internet, right? Anyone with Internet access has a license to be a jackass. Party on, Garth….

FBI Chainsaws Wrong Door, Holds Wrong Woman At Gunpoint. Oops…looks like someone gonna have some ‘splainin’ to do….

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on February 7, 2012 5:16 AM.

This ain't the road to Prosperity; it's the road to Hell was the previous entry in this blog.

Something tells me you're planning to cut off something other than my head is the next entry in this blog.

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