March 26, 2012 5:31 AM

Today's dispatch from the attic

Top Ten Breitbartarian Obama Scandals. OMG!!! THERE’S A BLACK MAN IN THE WHITE HOUSE!!! SOCIALISM!! LIBERALS!! CLOSET MUSLIMS!!

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As governor, Mitt Romney told people to get used to high gas prices. Now that he’s running for President though, it’s perfectly acceptable to blame the President for those high gas prices.

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For some reason, parents aren’t keen on their children being fed something called “pink slime.” Hmm, could it be faulty marketing??

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When Republicans can’t compete on the facts, they rewrite history. Hey, it worked for the Soviets, right??

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So you want to protest against the middle-aged Conservative White men who think they have every right to legislate on matters relating to female reproduction? Well, rather than standing outside and holding a sign in the rain, why not knit that special legislator a vagina or uterus that you’ve created with your very own hands. There are even patterns available.

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Catholic Priest Allegedly Leaves Child Porn on Kid’s Nintendo DS. Hmm…methink somebody’s got some ‘splainin’ to do, no??

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Kraft’s New Name is Crumbelievably Stupid. Jeebus, y’all…why not just change your name to an unpronounceable symbol?

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Evidently, it doesn’t suck to be Rob Gronkowski these days. I can’t help but wonder if it’s not all going to catch up with him sometime.

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Is the Portal to Hell Opening Up Under Wisconsin Right This Very Minute?. Hmm…some might argue that Wisconsin IS a portal to Hell.

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“Anyone but that socialist….” Thanks, Citizens United; now an addled, thoroughly propagandized billionaire can spend ANY amount of money in order to purchase an election. BTW, if you believe that Barack Obama is s Socialist, you clearly have NO idea what the definition of “Socialism” is.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on March 26, 2012 5:31 AM.

Another WWJD Public Service: What not to wear while trying to adopt a dog was the previous entry in this blog.

Memo to Republicans: Truth is, stocks performs better when a Democrat's in the White House is the next entry in this blog.

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