Better to be thought an ignorant, self-righteous religious zealot than to be Rick Santorum and remove any lingering doubt.
- Me
Rather than continue to ridicule Little Ricky’s medieval Christocratic world view, I came across a better idea, thanks to the fine, upstanding folks at Foreign Policy. It’s become clear to me that, when you break down Santorum’s public fatwas pronouncements as evidence of how he views the world, the entertainment potential is…well, substantial. It’s with that in mind that I’m introducing a new Internet meme, one that will be going viral…probably about the same time I become Queen of England. Still, why not have some fun?
Without further ado then, allow me to introduce:
“Who Said It- Grand Ayatollah Ali Khamenei or Rick Santorum?”
The rules are simple: just identify which arch-Conservative, Kill-‘em-all-let-God-sort-‘em-out religious zealot is responsible for each of the following nuggets of wisdom. Since my prize budget is roughly the same as my fact-checking budget (something approaching $0.00), you’ll have to rely on the satisfaction of reigning victorious should you excel. You should probably also start thinking about stepping away from your keyboard, turning off your television, and perhaps getting out a wee bit more, knowhutimean??
“We were put on this Earth as creatures of God to have dominion over the Earth.”
“We believe in democracy and we also believe in freedom, but we do not believe in liberal democracy.”
“Although the literal meaning of socialism is equitable distribution of wealth, it is associated with other concepts which we hate. Over time, socialism has come to be associated with certain things in society that are unacceptable to us.”
“The radical feminists succeeded in undermining the traditional family and convincing women that professional accomplishments are the key to happiness.”
“This is not a political war at all. This is not a cultural war. This is a spiritual war.”
“This is a war between two willpowers: the willpower of the people and the willpower of their enemies.”
“Go back and read what the sirens did once you arrived on that island…. They devour you. They destroy you. They consume you.”
“The American people’s hatred for Iran is profound.” Oh wait, we got that one backward. Sorry. It should read: ‘8. “The Iranian people’s hatred for America is profound.”’
(answers: Santorum 1, 4, 5, 7; Khamenei 2, 3, 6, 8)
So, how did you score?
7-8 correct: Supreme leader
5-6 correct: Religious warrior
3-4 correct: Agnostic
1-2 correct: Radical secularist
0 correct: You make me want to throw up.
Let’s face it, America; if you couldn’t even get one correct, you’re either living on an ice floe with only a box of Captain America comic books for sustenance…or you’re a charter member of the Tea Party. Either answer should scare the Hell out of decent, lucid, informed Americans. It certainly does me.
Thanks for playing!!
