(thanks to Harold Cook)
A model who became a champion gravy wrestler suffered serious eye damage after being hit in the face with a monkey wrench. Elisa Sampson, 31, was hit in the face by her ‘best friend’ Sabina English, after arriving back at her home in Rossendale, Lancashire, and finding the single mother having sex with another friend on her sofa.
There are days when I almost don’t know what to write about. Nothing strikes me as interesting, and I find myself feeling rather blah about the prospect of writing. Then there’s today, when I ran across this epic piece of headline gold:
I was stunned…and it’s not often I’m rendered absolutely slack-jawed dumbfounded and speechless. That has to be THE perfect headline EVER, the most sublime example of the headline-writing arts ever produced by a fallible mortal. Were I to meet the god-like scribe who gave birth to this snippet of epic, unrivaled beauty, I’d throw myself at his feet, prostrate in the abject unworthiness of being in his (or her) presence. How could I not? This story has EVERYTHING: sex, violence, hot women, serious cleavage, facial fractures, doctors, hot women, long-term vision problems, bitter rivalry, grievous bodily harm, lawyers…and tools. And did I mention hot women??
Oh…and I almost forgot about the gravy wrestling….
In the annual wrestling championships at the Rose ‘n’ Bowl pub in Stacksteads, Bisto provided 440 gallons of gravy past its best before date for the contest, which raises money for the East Lancashire Hospice.
Local fire crews are called in to hose down the participants after their bouts in the wrestling ring. Wrestlers travel from all over the UK to compete.
OMG; I think I just found my new favorite sport….
