Some women and girls—and certainly many men—will be happy to hear that women’s breasts today are on average larger than they’ve ever been before. But this isn’t necessarily good news. Along with bra size (in just a generation, the average cup-size has gone from 34B to 36C!), women’s waist lines are also growing—and that’s troubling not for vanity’s sake, but because excessive weight gain has been associated with an increased risk in postmenopausal breast cancer. Another long-term risk factor for breast cancer: early-onset puberty. Girls today are developing earlier than ever before, with as many of 15% of them beginning to grow breasts at just 7-years-old!
We no longer have to hunt for and kill our food, nor do we live in grass huts. Medical knowledge, health care, and the quality of available food and shelter mean that humans are on average living longer and healthier lives. For the most part this is a good thing, but some of the technological advances that make so many aspects of our lives easier can also have unintended side effects.
Rest assured that, even after thousands of years of evolution, guys still like boobs. I mean, we REALLY like boobs…and there’s no use fighting it. Ladies, we don’t stare at your chests simply because we have trouble maintaining eye contact; we’re just fixated on another kind of contact.
The good news, at least from the male side of the aisle, is that the average bra size continues to grow. The bad news is that the average waist size of a woman continues to grow, which correlates to an increased risk for postmenopausal breast cancer. And larger breasts bring additional health risk, since fatty tissues turn out to be a wonderful place to store toxic chemicals like mercury, PCBs, and other icky, nasty things.
It turns out that breasts are more or less trying to kill their owners, which, from a purely selfish male point of view, kinda sucks…’cuz I might have mentioned that we REALLY like boobs. As has happened with many cancers, breast cancer rates have increased significantly, having doubled since the 1940s. Now 1 in 8 women are likely to be diagnosed with breast cancer.
It’s time to save the boobies, because if they go away, guys may find themselves having to actually talk to women…and what would we have to talk about?
Guys, we need to save the boobies. Just be certain to donate money to cancer charities OTHER than Susan G. Komen for the Cure…unless you like funding an inefficient, top-heavy bureaucracy that’s managed to politicize women’s health care.