“When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
- George Carlin
Mistakes are temporary…but stoopid never dies. If you’re going to make a point with a tattoo, why would you want it to be an obscene insult directed at the constable who arrested you a couple months ago? Surely you have better things to do with your time? If not your intellect….
You’re required to have a license in order to hunt, fish, drive a car, own a business…but anyone with functional plumbing can make a baby. Today’s (Not Exactly) Mother of the Year nominee comes to us from Floriduh, and she and her husband take child abuse in the name of discipline to new heights…or, more accurately, depths.
William Joseph Frederick, 33, and Suzanne E. Frederick, 31, forced their 10-year-old daughter to run laps with nothing to drink as punishment. They also subjected the poor girl to all manner of other indignities and abuse as “punishment.”
How is it that anyone can be a parent, but it’s so difficult to get a license to carry a concealed weapon?
Mama, don’t let your babies grow up to be tweeters. The Swedish government decided that the @sweden Twitter handle rightfully belongs to the Swedish people, and so they began a project in December is which a different Swedish citizen is allowed access to @sweden each week…with some predictably hilarious and occasionally disturbing results.
While the idea behind the rotating Twitter account may be laudable, with no adult supervision, things can- and do- occasionally go off the rails. The goal is certainly admirable: “No one owns the brand of Sweden more than its people. With this initiative we let them show their Sweden to the world,” but I don’t think the worst-case scenario was considered in the planning process.
Presenting the many voices of Sweden could be an interesting thing…if you accept the premise that some of those voices may not lucid, reasonable, or appropriate.
Nice try….
Only because they didn’t have a mock-up of the former President wearing a codpiece. I’ve never watched Game of Thrones, but from what I hear, it’s pretty good television. This is especially true when you realize that one of the many decapitated heads on a pike in one scene is actually that of former President George W. Bush. Hmm…if wonder if he gets residuals for that?
And it has absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that he’s a Black man in the White House. Floriduh pastor Terry Jones (he of the threat to burn a Koran this past 9.11) is evidently a SERIOUS attention whore. Having decided that he really misses being the center of attention, Jones is…wait for it…running for President. To bolster his cred as a SERIOUS candidate, he’s hung President Obama in effigy in front of his church.
Hmm…. A black man hung in effigy in Floriduh? Huh…move along people, there’s no racism here….
Well, at least he wasn’t bending over in the shower to pick up a bar of soap. On Wednesday night, Matt Cain of the San Francisco Giants pitched a perfect game against the Houston Astros. You’d think that would be something worth celebrating…and indeed it was. Unfortunately, celebrations seem to be becoming increasingly dangerous. In this case, reserve infielder (and former Astro) Aubrey Huff blew out his knee scaling the dugout railing as he attempted to join the on-field celebration. His clumsiness may cost him a trip to the disabled list. Or more, depending on the severity of the injury.
He’s an athlete, right??
Our condolences on your son’s untimely passing. Unfortunately, you’re obligated to repay his student loans. We can’t tell you how much you owe, but we expect prompt payment. Have a nice day. As if losing his son shortly after he graduated from college isn’t bad enough, the private lender is trying to collect from the father on the son’s student loan since he was a cosigner. How the father’s going to manage to repay the loan when he makes all of $21,000 a year isn’t the lender’s concern.
Have a great day!!!
Hey, what’s one more war between friends? If the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan demonstrated anything, it’s that America excels at sowing death and destruction. With that in mind, you’ll be pleased to know that America’s actually embroiled in a third (albeit much less heralded) war, this one in Yemen.
USA!! USA!! USA!!
