What are politicians promising prospective constituents in campaign ads these days, “fiscal responsibility” or some such perhaps? LAME, and also a terrible lie…. Oklahoma Democratic candidate for Congress Rob Wallace promises not to let Texas steal any of Oklahoma’s shit, that’s what. Time somebody did that. Here, he’ll shoot at a water jug with a picture of Texas on it to prove he is serious. It’s all “Medicaid and Social Security, hell yeah” and then something something Texas is trying to steal all of Oklahoma’s water something something KABLAM.
It would be tough to find a state that more reflexively, rigidly, intolerantly knee-jerk Conservative than Oklahoma. We’re talking about a state whose voters passed a measure banning the use of Sharia (and who knew that was even a problem?) in Oklahoma’s courts. It’s a place when the GLBT community isn’t exactly what I’d call “secure.” If there’s a place that might arguably be Whiter, more Conservative, and more uber-Jesus-y than Oklahoma…it’s the state on their southern border. Texas and Oklahoma- football rivalries aside, of course- actually have an awful lot in common. They’re both deeply and immutably Red states, they both hate Libruls, and they’re both laughing stocks. Sadly, those things really do seem to go together.
It doesn’t take a Ph.D. to understand that running for public office as a Democrat in Oklahoma is akin to admitting you have a long and storied history as a pederast. This would explain why Congressional candidate Rob Wallace is standing on God, guns, and talking smack about Texas. After all, if you live in Oklahoma, hating Texas is de riguer and Gods and guns are encoded in your DNA. Wallace may be running as a Democrat, but the political center has moved so far to the Right that he’s what used to be known as a “moderate Republican”…or, more accurately in today’s political climate, a “Communist.”
Wallace is certainly no Dale Peterson…but then who among us is? That’s a pretty high standard.
Given Wallace’s (or any Oklahoma Democrat’s) dim odds of victory in November, his only real hope lies in being outrageous…or at least what passes for outrageous in Oklahoma. If nothing else, at least he’s gotten his 15 minutes of fame.
