In an ongoing effort to keep my readers up to date with the emerging (and unintentionally humorous) rhetorical and ideological antics of various Conservative luminaries, here’s the first installment of what promises to be a long-running series. It’s no secret that Conservatives are infamous for having had their humor bone removed shortly after birth. Sometimes I think they’re completely lacking in self-awareness; if they possessed any, they’d understand that they’re often walking, talking exercises in self-parody.
To wit….
REAL PATRIOTS DON’T ASK QUESTIONS. One of the truly disturbing post-9.11 trends is the unspoken but deadly serious expectation that Americans will unquestioningly genuflect towards and accept all things military. Michelle Malkin, f’rinstance, has taken Liberal commentator Bill Press to task for questioning America’s increasingly and disturbingly overt militarism and thus displaying insufficient patriotism. Lost in Malkin’s knee-jerk “Libruls bad, evil, nasty” argument is the truth that dissent is the hallmark of democracy.
When last I checked, freedom of speech and expression is guaranteed to ALL Americans by the Bill of Rights. It’s not something limited to reliably and reflexively patriotic Conservatives. Malkin is free to voice her opinion about Press’ opinion…but she has no right to question his patriotism. Perhaps she could try remembering that REAL patriotism lies in not being afraid to ask uncomfortable and unpleasant questions. Questioning the country’s growing and self-destructive militarism is no less valid than Malkin’s shrewish, mean-spirited, knee-jerk patriotism. Being a knee-jerk, obedient Conservative isn’t proof that Malkin loves America more than Bill Press; it just means that she believes dissent is for losers and Liberals.
I, FOR ONE, WELCOME OUR NEW THEOCRATIC HEALTH CARE SYSTEM. Am emergency room doctor in Oklahoma declined to provide a 24-year-old rape victim with emergency contraception, stating that the medication violated her personal moral/religious beliefs. The hospital also refused to provide a rape kit to the victim…what, on the grounds that she was probably “asking for it”??
Sadly for women in Oklahoma, the decision made by the ER doctor was perfectly legal under the state’s “conscience clause,”, which evidently means that health care in Oklahoma can legally be filtered through a doctor’s personal morality and religious beliefs. This also makes anyone coming under the doctor’s care subject to being impacted by those beliefs. To call this reprehensible and a possibly egregious violation of the Hippocratic Oath wouldn’t seem a stretch, but it does point out a very real and growing problem. If health care providers are allowed to make care decisions based on their personal moral/religious beliefs, where does it end?
The answer: it doesn’t. While Conservative will squeal like banshees if they believe Liberals are forcing their morality on them, they have no problem with the idea of forcing their morality and beliefs upon everyone, including those who happen not to think, live, love, and/or believe as they do.
WE MUCH MARGINALIZE AND DISCRIMINATE AGAINST TEH GAYZ BEFORE THEY DO IT TO US. Who knew that the Christian majority in this country was in such a perilous and vulnerable state that their dominance could be threatened by…what, 10% of the population? According Bryan Fischer, the chief propagandist/hallucinator at the American Family Association (an oxymoron if ever there was one), heterosexual Christian American patriots MUST act if they don’t want to see their interests subjugated to THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA.
Oh, the humanity…
Breaking news: If your group constitutes an overwhelming majority of the population, YOU DON’T GET TO CLAIM THAT YOU’RE AN OPPRESSED MINORITY.
IT’S MY STATE, AND I’LL DECIDE WHO GETS TO VOTE IF I WANT TO. Gov. Rick Scott of Floriduh has decided to ignore the Justice Department’s order that the state stop purging voters from their rolls. Of course, the reality that the vast majority of voters being purged are the poor and minorities (who- what a coincidence- happen to vote Democratic) has NOTHING to do with Scott’s defiance. Republicans like Scott claim that Voter ID laws help reduce the incidence of voting fraud…which currently accounts for far less than 1% of all votes cast. So, disenfranchising likely Democratic voters in the name of protecting electoral integrity? Hey, how else can we ensure that elections are “fair and balanced?”
Meanwhile, Gov. Scott seems to care far more about creating an environment favorable to Republican electoral dominance than he is in seeing that justice is done in Floriduh. Hey, if you’re convicted on specious evidence and fabricated testimony, you’re still guilty. Why else would you have been convicted?
BREAKING NEWS: WISCONSIN TO BE OFFICIALLY RE-NAMED “KOCHISTAN.” Now that Scott Walker has survived Tuesday’s recall election, he’s being touted by some Far Right pundits as the new and undisputed King of the Conservative Movement. Walker’s now free to continue his war on unions and the middle class, with the consent of a plurality of Wisconsin voters, who evidently are OK with participating in the dismantling of their rights.
It’s true; we get exactly the quality of leadership we deserve…and who know the standards of Wisconsin’s voters were so abysmally low?
NOW THAT SCOTT WALKER WON, LIBERALS MUST BE UTTERLY DESTROYED UNDER THE BOOT HEELS OF GODLY CONSERVATISM. For those of you who didn’t get the memo, Liberalism in not the moral and functional equivalent of Communism. Liberals are not godless pederasts. Liberalism is not the doctrine of those who would enslave America by creating an entitlement society.
Liberalism does not equate to tyranny. Or perhaps you’re just engaging in some unintended projection?
Liberalism is about free speech and expression. It’s about an unfettered marketplace of ideas. It’s about the social contract and caring for and looking after our fellow human beings. Liberals disdain the GOP’s current Randian ethic of every man for himself- “I got mine; you can damned well get your own.” Despite what Conservatives would have us think, the social contract is not a blueprint for Socialism.
Sadly, today’s Republicans are all about unthinking, reflexive obedience to the party line. If y’all are so all-fired worried about “tyranny,” y’all really need to pray for a higher degree of self-awareness…or are do you really fear independent, critical thinking that much?
IF I WANT TO BUY AN ELECTION, WHY SHOULDN’T I BE ABLE TO? The results of Tuesday’s recall election in Wisconsin would seem to indicate that Citizens United is having the desired effect. Ultra-Conservative billionaires are able to (in some cases, anonymously) purchase government that is favorably disposed to their interests. That reality appears unlikely to change anytime soon. We very well may see- and sooner than you might think- the creation of a two-tier America, with the 99.99% existing only and solely to attend to the needs and desires of the less than .01% who will continue amassing an ever-greater share of our national wealth.
Behold the wonder of the New Oligarchy….
The fact that catering to those interests might conflict with the interests of more than 99.99% of the population is a mere inconvenience and will only be seized upon by losers and Liberals.
YOU KNOW YOU’RE A SORRY EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING WHEN YOU USE YOUR BABY AS A POLITICAL PROP. No one will ever accuse Rep. Ben Quayle (R-AZ) of being an intellectual giant or a moral beacon. Pretty much any time President Obama does something, you can count on Quayle’s staff sending out a press release stating what a nasty, horrible, awful thing the President’s doing. Knee-jerk, self-interested partisanship aside, what sort of miserable human being uses their own baby to advance their political prospects? It seems Quayle recognizes no distinction between the personal and the political.
Then again, it’s not as if Quayle’s an intellectual giant to begin with….
