July 17, 2012 6:18 AM

Today in news not involving bacon....

Jesus Takes His Talents to South Beach: Man, I knew the Miami Heat ewere active players in the free agent market, but I had no idea they had their eye on Ray Allen the Almighty.

GOV. CHRIS CHRISTIE: THE WAR ON DRUGS ‘HAS BEEN A FAILURE’: Now if only more politicians would come to their senses, perhaps we could call it good and empty out our prisons.

Oregon likely to put pot legalization to voters, proponents say: DUDE!! THAT’S RIGHTEOUS!!!

Duke Energy CEO To Receive $44 Million Payout Despite Resigning On His First Day: Something tells me I’m in the wrong damn line of work….

French Pop Band Makes Clever Use of Gay Porn in Latest Music Video: Who said there were no more originals ideas left?

Rep. Joe Walsh Blasts Double Amputee’s Military Service, Says She’s Not A ‘True Hero’: If Joe Walsh isn’t the Worst Person in the World (and by a fair bit), then I’m not certain who would qualify.

I’m not in the business of certifying heroes, but given that the only combat Walsh has seen is with his ex-wife, he isn’t qualified to be mentioned in the same breath with Tammy Duckworth.

“Please Don’t Shoot Missiles Off Our Roof,” London Residents Ask Of British Military: But then the terrorists will win….

A Grueling Course for Training Marine Officers Will Open Its Doors to Women: Isn’t it time to stop being paternalistic and allow women to occupy combat roles if that’s what they desire?

‘BBQ Chip Bandits’ Terrorize Sleepy Canadian City: Quick!! Protect the women and children!!

Jason Babin Argues Against Gun Control By Citing Made-Up Hitler Quote. Hey, he’s a football player, not a Rhodes Scholar. Besides, it’s not a lie if you believe it’s true…right??

Surprisingly, Phish Fan Who Fell 25 Feet From Light Pole Was Naked, ‘on Something’: Quelle surprise…who could have seen that coming??

The ’90s Are Officially Over: Chumbawamba Calls it Quits: Wow…who even knew they were still together??

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on July 17, 2012 6:18 AM.

It's Tuesday, so here's a gratuitous shot from the existential philosophy competition at the Miss America Pageant was the previous entry in this blog.

And you wonder why I want to be self-employed?? is the next entry in this blog.

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