September 16, 2012 7:41 AM

"If you like Dr. Pepper you're going to get hit by a truck driven by the Holy Ghost"

Hello, and welcome to yet another segment on people who have completely lost perspective! Today’s guests are “Christians mad at soda.”…. It all started with an advertisement posted on Facebook Thursday afternoon. It was silly, as advertisements for bubbly sugar-water are wont to be, and depicted Dr Pepper turning a primate into a homo sapien with the power of its deliciousness — “the evolution of flavor.”…. Did any you viewers home catch it? Did any of you catch the horrible thing? You got it folks — Dr Pepper said “evolution.”

To some it was a company’s light-hearted attempt to sell a carbonated soft drink. To some, it was a total non-event. Either way, it clearly wasn’t a serious attempt at anything but commercial satire. It was even less of a theological statement…yet some Evangelical Christians have managed to get their panties in a wad over…wait for it…a Dr. Pepper ad.

JESUS HATES DR. PEPPER…AND IF YOU WERE ANY SORT OF CHRISTIAN AT ALL YOU WOULD, TOO!!

Yep, it seems Dr. Pepper has been exposed for taking it’s previously covert campaign of hatred against Christianity to da Interwebs by mentioning “evolution.” In what can only be described as a truly epic “WTF?!?” moment, Dr. Pepper’s Facebook page became Ground Zero for what for some was evidently a deadly serious theological debate. Reading through the comments is a truly mind-bending experience in aberrant psychology. Good Lord, y’all; if you take your religion so seriously that an advertisement on a Facebook page can be mistaken for staken out a theological position, might I suggest that you lighten up?

I constantly marvel at the sort of personality so highly attuned to defending their personal theology that they can seriously view the rest of the world as actively working to undermine their faith. Not only that, but if you’re so tightly wound (ecclesiastically speaking) that you can see your way clear to taking offense from a cartoon…well, to say that you’re beyond pity would be an understatement.

Perhaps some counseling to learn how to take yourself and your beliefs a wee bit less seriously might be in order??

Besides, as any REAL Christian patriot could tell you, Jesus drinks Diet Coke. And he’s a Republican.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on September 16, 2012 7:41 AM.

And as we all know, JesusCare doesn't cover pre-existing conditions was the previous entry in this blog.

Sure, He SAYS He's the Son of God...but how do we know he's not an evil Liberal?? is the next entry in this blog.

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