October 23, 2012 6:15 AM

Memo to Republicans: Women aren't just men minus the penis

(graphic courtesy of David Flanders)

As her husband Mike Huckabee has emerged as one of Todd Akin’s biggest boosters, Janet Huckabee is now hitting the campaign trail along with the Duggar family for Akin, whose campaign has been unraveling after he said survivors of “legitimate rape” rarely become pregnant as a result. She told conservative radio show host Janet Mefferd, who noted before the broadcast that “portions of The Janet Mefferd Show are sponsored by the Todd Akin for U.S. Senate campaign,” that “women are really on fire for Todd Akin” and “women know what they want and right now I think they want Todd Akin to be their Senator.” Despite Huckabee’s spin or presence in an alternative reality, polls have consistently shown McCaskill with a double digit lead among women voters.

Women have received a lot of attention in this election cycle, and not without good reason. The Vagina-American portion of the population represents roughly 50% of the head count, but in many ways their influence far outweighs that of Penis-Americans. They give birth to and are largely responsible for raising children. Many still manage a household, raise kids, AND hold down a full-time job. This isn’t to denigrate the contribution of Penis-Americans, of course. As the proud owner of a penis myself, I’m here to argue that men have their own hardships. That said, I’m realistic enough to understand that most men would crumble under the burden routinely shouldered by women.

I’ve been curious about how candidates (and other luminaries) from both parties have been trying to appeal to female voters. It turns out that some are more successful than others, probably because some get it more than others. I decided to take a look at those candidates amd influential voices who, for whatever reason, seem to take women for granted because they understand next to nothing about them. Thet being said, it makes sense to begin with perhaps the most clueless Republican out there. Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO), he of the widely panned “legitimate rape” controversy, is running against Sen. Claire McCaskill for a seat in the Senate from Missouri. Even after his inserting his anterior deeply into his posterior and initially becoming a Right-wing pariah, Akin is suddenly on the comeback trail. Some of the very same folks who loudly demanded that he pull out of the race are now among his biggest and most ardent supporters. Included on that list are former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee and his wife, Janet, who’s come up with one of the most humorous and truly unfortunate one-liners of this election cycle:

Women are Really on Fire for Todd Akin

Great; now I get to spend the rest of the day trying to get that picture out of my mind….


Then you have Right-wing women’s groups stumping for Mitt Romney by trying to quash fears about Roe v. Wade. Concerned Women for America decided to counter a MoveOn.org ad which features female celebrities to discuss reproductive rights. In typical Right-wing fashion, CWA’s ad featured clearly NOT celebrity females dissing “Hollywood Liberals”.

I’m not a huge fan of celebrities imposing themselves on the electoral process (Do politicians try to make movies?), but to diss them for their success (and their Liberal views) seems petty.

Wow; women sure can be catty, no?

They’ll tell women that a President can’t overturn Roe v. Wade….

Haven’t you heard of separation of powers??

….but what they convenient forget to mention is there are four Supreme Court justices approaching retirement. The next President will very likely be presented with an opportunity to reshuffle the ideological makeup of the court, which will impact this country for years, perhaps generations. If Mitt Romney wins, he’ll be able to create a Supreme Court ideologically inclined to overturn Roe v. Wade and other legislation Conservatives dislike…stare decisis be damned. CWA somehow manages to disclose only information that shades their cause in a more positive light. The reality is that CWA is working hard to overturn Roe v. Wade. They know full well that the next President won’t maintain or overturn a woman’s right to a safe and legal abortion on his own initiative. His Supreme Court nominees undoubtedly will. Stay tuned….

And then you have the men who think they have the right to determine what women can or can’t do with their lady parts.

The same thing is happening in America today, exactly the same thing. We’ve take a segment of the human race, unborn children, and we’ve said “you’re not human, you’re life unworthy of being lived, we can kill your for our personal convenience and nothing more.” And think about it, we’ve been letting that happen for forty years, a million and a half babies a year … four thousand a day, that’s every day, as we carry on our business as usual. The Devil has allowed us to gradually get used to coexisting with abortion.

That was Pastor Laurence White, a guest on Wallbuilders Live telling us that abortion is the root of all evil in America. See, ladies, if you just listened to men, things would be SO much easier, because when you get right down to it, feminists and Democrats have declared war on women. Not only that, but “Personhood Amendments” are EXACTLY like efforts to free the slaves.


It seems the Rabid Religious Right isn’t demonstrating their support for women as much as they’re trying to demagogue them into voting against their best interests. (Never forget: abortion clinics are just like medieval/Nazi/torture/gas chambers). And Liberals want to indoctrinate our children with their insidious brand of atheistic Anti-American Socialism.

Damn, they’re on to us….

Man, I CANNOT WAIT to wake up on Wednesday, November 7th. I’m not a Christian, but if I could pray it would go something like this:


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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on October 23, 2012 6:15 AM.

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