We’re 30 days into the NHL lockout (despite the unofficial and undeclared media blackout, Commissioner Gary Bettman is once again doing his impression of Satan), and Canadians are beginning to get desperate. Last night should have found the L.A. Kings raising their 2012 Stanley Cup championship banner at Staples Center. Instead, the NHL and the NHLPA seem to be discussing their differences at a leisurely pace…when they’re discussing them at all. If you’re a hockey fan and you’re feeling a profound sense of deja vu, it’s not because you’re crazy. Having lost the entire 2004-05 season to an owner’s lockout, the NHL was finally beginning to reclaim lost ground. With this lockout, Bettman’s insistence on playing hardball may prove to be the league’s undoing. With no talks scheduled and no clear indication of when the NHL season might start, fans just might go elsewhere. Hey, there’s always the Kontinental Hockey League, right? I actually watched a game between Lev Praha and Dynamo Moscow last week, and it was about as exciting as watching a southeast Texas roofing crew fight off heat stroke. The Washington Capitals’ Alex Ovechkin scored late in the third period, which made the final 1-0 Dynamo and…ah, who am I kidding? When you find yourself fantasizing during the middle of the second period about Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly getting busted inflagrante delicto in a Minneapolis airport men’s room, it’s time to move on.
THE KHL! IT’S…whatever….
With no hockey, Canadian sports fans are reduced to curling, the Canadian Football League, and…the Lingerie Football League (remember, it ain’t football unless they’re wearing lace panties and push-up bras)?? Yes, the LFL may be on hiatus in the Lower 48, but it’s evidently alive and well in the Great White North.
This being Canada we’re talking about, sufficient amounts of Molson and testosterone will inevitably combine to create a minor contretemps. In this case, it involves a shirtless guy and another wearing a New England Patriots jersey. Ugh; can’t we all just get along?? No? All right, then.
Game on, eh??
Please, for the love of peace, order, and good government, can’t someone convince Gary Bettman to end this madness before riots break out in the streets of Regina?
