Intolerance betrays want of faith in one’s cause.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Claiming that you have got the truth wrapped up does breed violence and intolerance.
- Timothy Radcliffe
The headline of this post alone will probably earn me the enmity of many in the vegan community…which really only goes to prove my point. After becoming a vegan about three months ago, I’ve found it interesting to listen to vegans and read vegan blogs. The militancy of some vegans is really only matched by- as much as it pains me to say this- Social Conservative Christians on the Far Right.
Sure, I get the whole “meat is murder” ethos, and if you believe that, then good on you. What I fail to understand is how and why so many vegans hold those who eat meat in such low regard, as if they’re committing crimes against humanity. Perhaps it’s that my veganism is based on health issues, not moral conviction. It’s a personal choice- MY personal choice, and I see no reason why I should think I have the right to judge others for the choices they make. The odds of seeing me in a PETA ad campaign anytime soon are remote…and not just because I really don’t think anyone wants to see me naked
“It’s called a ‘food chain’ for a reason.” There are those who will argue humans sit at the top of that food chain, and we were meant to be carnivores for that reason. OK; it’s no longer how I choose to live, but that’s a matter of individual choice. Sometimes, though, those who’ve chosen to be vegan can be a wee bit on the intolerant side, and I find it both tiresome and arrogant.
DEAR AMY: My son recently became engaged to a girl whose parents are vegans (although she isn’t). They invited my husband and me to dinner and served a vegan meal, which we graciously ate and enjoyed.
We always host Thanksgiving dinner at our home, and I invited them to join us. I offered to prepare an all-vegan meal for them. Their answer was that they would be unable to eat in a home where there are dead animal products served at the table. In other words, if there is turkey on the table, they cannot attend.
Amy, my family enjoys the traditional Thanksgiving meal every year. I don’t think it’s fair to dictate what we should serve. My son said I should just make a vegan meal for everyone to keep the peace. My family will not attend Thanksgiving dinner under those circumstances, and I don’t blame them. How should I handle this?
- Meat Lovers
In the circle of friends Erin and I have, I’m the only vegan. Call me silly, but I think that makes it incumbent upon me to take care of myself. When we go to dinner at a friend’s house, I will usually bring food with me. Why should I expect others to look out for me? Yet that’s exactly what so many militant vegans expect- that everyone around them not only respect their choice, but cater to it as well. It’s as silly as it is self-absorbed, and it’s not exactly a recipe for convincing the uninitiated of the joys and benefits of veganism.
Meat may be murder- in the estimation of militant vegans, at least- and that’s fine. If you feel that way, knock yourself out…but why would you project your beliefs (and intolerance) on others who happen not to share them? Live your beliefs all you want; that’s your prerogative and your right. You might want to keep in mind that you’re a pronounced minority. Most people don’t understand, much less agree with, your dietary choice, and you really have no right to judge them for that.
DEAR MEAT LOVERS: Despite what your son says, you should not assume that “the peace” is at stake. If these people are consistent, this means they cannot enjoy a meal or snack in many homes, restaurants or coffee shops. This is their choice, and after trying to reasonably accommodate them, you should respond with acceptance.
Do not put your son or his fiance in the middle of this. Tell her parents that you hope they would be able to join you on Thanksgiving Day for dessert (no mince pie this year). If they refuse the invitation, say you’d enjoy hosting them another time. Be friendly and maintain a cheerful attitude of understanding, but do not let them control you.
Since 98.9% of the population happen not to be vegan, those of us in the 1.1% have no cause or right to expect carnivores to cater to us. My experience has shown me that most people are curious because they don’t understand veganism and why someone would choose to spurn animal and dairy products. Yes, a few have been judgmental, but that stems from ignorance of veganism and the refusal and/or inability to learn about or understand it. I don’t expect approval, nor do I expect much in the way of understanding. Hell, I didn’t understand it myself until I did some research and decided that a vegan diet was something that made sense for me. Learning about veganism led me to believe that a diet free of animal and dairy products would be beneficial…and that’s proven to be the case.
When all is said and done, it’s MY choice. A vegan diet is what I’ve chosen for myself, but I’m not about to presume that making that choice gives me license to judge others for choosing to be carnivores (Hey, I do miss bacon sometimes). Carnivores are the majority, and by a fair piece. That means that those of us in the minority are obligated to do what we need to do for ourselves without judging others for the choices they make. Carnivores are under no obligation to cater to vegans, though I certainly appreciate it when my dietary choice is taken into consideration.
In the end, it’s about respecting the choices we make…even if we may not understand or approve. It’s about understanding that personal choices are just that- no more and no less. More than anything, it’s about getting along with one another, which, if you think about it, shouldn’t be difficult.
