November 4, 2012 5:57 AM

Conservative reality: Open to interpretation and whatever you need or want it to be

So, let’s say you happen to live on the right side of the ideological spectrum. And let’s say that the polls and projections for Tuesday’s election aren’t looking favorable for your preferred candidate, Mitt Romney. No worries, mate; thanks to the miracle of modern technology and creative mathematics, you can interpret the available polling data in a manner that will leave you feeling as if you’re still the Master of the Universe.

Even better, once you’ve finished massaging the data to your satisfaction, you can impugn the reputation and sneer at the personal qualities of one of the most respected statisticians in the country. Because, as any REAL American patriot knows, sneering at the intellectual capabilities of an adversary ipso facto renders that person’s empirical conclusion irrelevant. Don’t like conclusions that run counter to your desired reality? Just imply not so subtly that the object of your derision doesn’t like girls, and before you know it, empirical mathematics and the scientific method are invalidated and replaced by reality as you define it.

Say hello to our new idiocracy, y’all. It seems Dean Chambers will be our statistician-in-chief…and Nate Silver will be relegated to servicing sailors in Manhattan’s finest gay bars during Fleet Week.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on November 4, 2012 5:57 AM.

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