November 6, 2012 6:45 AM

Today's comminque from our new idiocracy

There is no polite way to say this: Police have arrested a Texas teenager for going on a douche-stealing spree at Walmart. Dallas cops arrested Ashley Deon Boyd, 17, Tuesday night after she allegedly shoplifted an assortment of merchandise from the big box retailer. Included in her haul were candles, socks, panties, and many two-count douche boxes. The douche boxes, valued at $3.44 apiece, were recovered by investigators, according to an inventory prepared by Dallas Police Department officers.

Police Collar Teenager In Douche-Stealing Spree At Dallas Walmart: Every now and again something comes along that leaves me absolutely gobsmacked. This is one of those times.

Site runs small penis contest: You go ahead and enter; I think I’m going to sit this one out.

Madison Square Garden Company Strong-Arms Employees Into Using Vacation Days Post-Sandy: Stay classy, y’all…who can afford compassion when you have a business to run?

Why are Americans so easy to manipulate?: Because we hate intelligence, disdain science, and value emotional reaction over sober reflection.

Republican Congressman Blasts Working Moms: Right; because clearly, working moms have been slacking. That’s why our schools are performing so poorly.

How psychopaths take over: Because Americans can’t be bothered to pay attention.

Neighbor: New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez Screwed a Different Young Lady Every Night, Loudly: Hey, c’mon; the guy’s 58. He should be getting a medal for performance above and beyond the call of duty.

Maine drivers warned of zombie danger: Time for that zombie preparedness training, I suppose.

Man cooking squirrel for lunch sparks fire that destroys eight apartments: The sad thing is that he never even had time to prepare an appetizer.

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: PAY UP OR I’LL SHOOT YOUR DOG!: Nice work if you can get it, eh?

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on November 6, 2012 6:45 AM.

Happy Election Day! May your vote actually be counted. was the previous entry in this blog.

A very good reason to vote today is the next entry in this blog.

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