Authorities in Florida said a man accused of engaging in a sex act with his miniature donkey is asking for his animal back. Carlos Romero, 31, who is charged with animal cruelty and is currently in protective custody, said Tuesday in his first court appearance he wants the 21-month-old donkey he is accused of having sex with Aug. 15, the Ocala (Fla.) Banner-Star reported Monday. Romero, who was arrested Monday and pleaded not guilty at his court appearance, is in protective custody with bail set at $20,000. Romero told the judge he believes he is in protective custody to keep him away from the donkey, named Doodle…. “I want my donkey back. There’s got to be due process here. I paid $500 for her,” Romero said.
Donkey sex suspect wants animal back: Evidently, Mr. Romero was trying to take advantage of Floriduh’s new “Don’t Ass, Don’t Tell” program.
The sushi cologne: When you absolutely, positively must ensure that you have no shot at getting laid.
Mexican think tank says Colorado, Washington, Oregon pot legalization would cut cartel profit: Local Taco Bells are also gearing up for a substantial increase in business.
Naked man throws rocks at swans in Plymouth as temperature drops to freezing: Police are “are unable to explain why anyone would strip naked on a muddy beach at 3am in November.” Well, I think we can safely rule out “trying to stay warm.” My theory leans more toward “Yes, there was alcohol involved.”
Florida Woman Masturbates In Starbucks, Likely Overcome By the Return of Pumpkin Spice: Some folks just can’t contain their excitement. Most of us can at least make it to our car, though.
The Best (And Worst) Of The 2012 Campaign: Grab your binders full of women and bring your empty chair. This could take awhile.
Once you move to Moscow: If you’re having trouble finding a decent place to live, try living in Moscow. You’ll immediately feel better about your dank hovel.
Fla. police bust pee wee football gamblers: Greetings from Floriduh: where you can bet on anything…even peewee football games? How sick do you have to be in order to think that’s a good idea? You don’t even want to know….
12-Year-Old Rape Victim Called “Negligent” and “Careless” by School District in Legal Papers: Yeah, she was probably asking for it….
Salmon swim across flooded road in Washington: What? You’ve never of a highway with a “Salmon Crossing” Zone?
Cocaine, heroin found in USPS package: Fool…anyone with half a brain knows it’s best to ship your drugs via UPS- ‘cuz it’s all about logistics, don’tchaknow?
Dirty Pacifiers May Make Infants Sick: Study: Well, DUH…it appears that Captain Obvious is in the house.
