(Mea culpa to Charyl at Under the Mountain Bunker, from whom I purloined this idea. I hope I can do it justice.)
In other words, the solution to domestic violence is to simply refuse to label a woman whose partner is beating her a “victim”. Got it. I’m curious if FreedomWorks is willing to expand this attitude towards other crimes. Mugged? Well, it’s disempowering and bad for you to call you a “victim”—god forbid!—so let’s just say you’re generous to people who wield guns and call it a day. FreedomWorks also claims that simply having laws on the books banning domestic violence is enough—as long as we formally say we’re against it, we don’t need to do anything silly like make sure the laws are enforced by directing resources to them.
Hoo needz edumication? Wee haz Jeezus!!…. I really admire Oklahoma Republicans- no, not for their misogynistic, hyper-religious, holier-than-thou, anti-science agenda, but for their persistence. Eight times since 2004, Republicans in the Sooner State’s legislature have attempted to pass bills that would water down the teaching of evolution. You see, when you haz Jesus in your heart, what do you need to know save for what’s in your Bible?
Book learnin’s for losers and godless Liberals….
This latest bill is a particularly creative effort. Not only would it attempt to force teachers to present creationism as a legitimate scientific option, it would allow students to “debunk” science. If a student writes a paper which subscribes to an alternate theory over evolution, a teacher could not grade the student down for that. Yep, that’s right, y’all; Republicans in Oklahoma want to have the right to tell teachers how to grade their students’ work.
So how’s that “small government” thing working out for you?? ‘Cuz you never can be too careful, can you? Before you know it….
School districts in Texas are teaching all sorts of wacky theories in order to work the Bible into the public edumication curriculum. The beautiful about teaching religion in Texas schools is that you have the formidable and righteous presence of Texas state guv’mint behind you. ‘Course, that’s no guarantee that what you’ll be asked to teach has any basis in reality. In fact, you may well be teaching the future leaders of our New Idiocracy that science and history stem from Biblical teachings. So why not do it to the mellifluous strains of “Onward Christian Soldiers” and “What A Friend We Have in Jesus?” It’s never too early to teach the young ‘uns about quality music (and worship), knowhutimean??
Mama would be SO proud. Though when you get right down to it….
Conservatives have issues. I don’t know about you, but I find the folks at FreedomWorks to be highly entertaining…if not particularly enlightening. I mean, how could you take a group that used to be headed by a guy named Dick Armey? (I know, sometimes the jokes…well, they just write themselves, don’t they??)
If FreedomWorks didn’t exist, Bill Maher, Jon Stewart, and Rachel Maddow would have had to invent them, because who would POSSIBLY believe that this stuff could be true?
Not so very long ago, FreedomWorks gave Armey eight million reasons to ride off into the sunset, and then things really began to get wacky inside the bubble.
By the way, the follow quote has been satirized for your protection. Well, it would have been…except that it’s true….
An internal investigation of FreedomWorks…has focused on president Matt Kibbe’s management of the organization, his use of its resources, and a controversial book deal he signed, according to former FreedomWorks officials who have met with the private lawyers conducting the probe. One potential topic for the inquiry is a promotional video produced last year under the supervision of Adam Brandon, executive vice president of the group and a Kibbe loyalist. The video included a scene in which a female intern wearing a panda suit simulates performing oral sex on Hillary Clinton…..
Think about that visual image for a moment: “a female intern wearing a panda suit simulates performing oral sex on Hillary Clinton.” And just try to stop laughing.
I may live to be 105, but there’s a pretty good chance that I will NEVER be able to come up with a sentence that comes close to topping that. Truly, I’m in awe….
I know you probably think I make this stuff up, but trust me, I may have an active imagination, but this is a case of truth being stranger than fiction. And, lest you think that’s all I’ve got, consider that….
A Republican state legislator in Missouri is trying to turn the show me state into the new Alabama.
A Republican state legislator in Missouri, which is still vying for the title of “new Alabama” along with Arizona and Tennessee, wants to force college kids in the state to learn about “the destiny” of the universe, galaxies and the human race. Rick Brattin - who calls himself “a huge science buff” — also wants to force the redefinition, in law, of the phrase “scientific theory” to include “faith-based philosophy.” So this way, priests could call themselves “scientists,” and creationism would be “science.”
And when you’ve finished with that, you can legally redefine “lie” to be the equivalent of “truth,” “empirical proof” to mean “faith-based theory,” and “day” to mean “night.” Hey, if you’re ultimate goal is to destroy the teaching of science in favor of your creationist agenda, go big or go home, right??
Remember, you’ll need lots of reliably Conservative Christian foot soldiers when you put in motion your plan to steal the 2016 election. Lying, cheating, stealing, voter suppression, voter nullification…hey, it’s What Jesus Would Do, amiright??
So you’re STILL wondering why we can’t have nice things?
