February 23, 2013 6:02 AM

Today's nominee for Headline of the Year

Man Busted With 100 Bags of Heroin ‘Inside Anus’ Will Be Butt of Jokes

SO, you’re thinking you might like to make a little extra money? You might want to view the story of 32-year-old Rasoul Speight, an intrepid member of the Bloods gang, as a cautionary tale.

The obvious questions, of course are WHY and HOW Speight managed to stuff 100 bags of heroin into an orifice clearly not designed for such a task. Making matters even sillier is that the street value of all that smack is somewhere in the neighborhood of only $1000- $2000. Why anyone with half a brain would assume the risks involved with inserting 100 bags of heroin into his anus for such a low payoff defies rational understanding. Of course, it’s possible I’m being too generous by half when I assume there was some actual, honest to God thought process that occurred before Speight dropped trou, grabbed his ankles, and prayed those burritos he had for lunch didn’t come back to haunt him.

Right; you never want to learn the hard way that eating Mexican food before smuggling heroin is a VERY bad idea.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on February 23, 2013 6:02 AM.

American exceptionalism: not what you might think it is was the previous entry in this blog.

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