It’s the kind of scenario that makes every parent cringe: a California preschool is shutting down as allegations surface that two 5-year-old girls were performing fellatio on fellow classmates while teachers turned a blind eye. On Tuesday, attorney Greg Owen filed a legal complaint against the First Lutheran Church of Carson School on behalf of one of six children involved in the disturbing alleged incidents, claiming negligence and “intentional infliction of emotional stress.” According to Owen, “sexual encounters” between the 4- and 5-year-old tots were initiated by a 5-year-old girl in June and again in September. It wasn’t until October, when another girl of the same age was caught by a teacher with her mouth on a 4-year-old boy’s genitals that the Carson School “dealt with the incident internally,” according to a school spokesperson.
It would be difficult to overstate the amount of consternation that this story, if true, should be causing. As it is, parents and the media are outraged and are looking for someone to blame. What’s becoming known as the “oral sex scandal” has generated many breathless declarations of outrage and demand that someone be hung from a yardarm, their body allowed to twist in the breeze. What’s been the subject of far less discussion is what would seem to be a far more important question: How did children so young become so highly sexualized? Where were their parents? Call me silly, but I can’t help but wondering how and why the parents aren’t a much bigger part of this equation. These children learned this sexual behavior somewhere, and unless someone can demonstrate otherwise, I have to think they learned it at home. Of course, that would mean parents having to accept responsibility…and unlikely scenario under the best of circumstances.
Where were their parents? It’s absolutely understandable that adults would be distraught over children so young engaging in sexual behavior when they should be playing with dolls or toy cars. The current public freak-out may be making some adults feel better about themselves, but it’s getting no one any closer to understanding why and how this sort of thing is even possible. I loved this line: “Mouth-to-genital contact, however, is not normal among preschoolers.” Duh. Thank you, Master of the Obvious. So where did the little urchins learn such behavior?
Where were their parents? If anyone should be able to explain how and why this sort of thing could happen, it would be the parents of the children involved. I’m not necessarily saying they should be held solely and completely responsible; I don’t know enough of the story to be able to leap to that conclusion. That said, it seems safe to assume that the parents are in the best position to understand and explain how their children not only became aware of, but were able to engage in oral sex.
The County of Los Angeles Department of Child and Family Services interviewed each of the families involved and found no evidence of abuse.
Ok, great; so the children- as far as any outsider can tell- weren’t abused. That still doesn’t answer the question of how this sort of thing could happen. Until we have those answers and can react to and deal with them in a rational manner, we’ve learned nothing. Blaming a five-year-old girl for being a “predator,” as one adult has, completely misses the point. HOW did the children learn enough about how things work to be able to engage in oral sex? I have a feeling that the answers are going to be a lot more disturbing than anyone knows. I have little doubt that the truth behind this saga is a lot uglier than anything that’s currently publicly known.
Where were their parents?
